The Best Gifts and Gadgets From Alternative Gift Company

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Here are some of their great products...

• Earth Globe Cufflinks - These are for the well travelled globe trotter or possibly Del Boy or Rodney?
• Little Guide To Doing It - What can I say rather self explanatory I think!
• Golf Key Ring - If you're a golfer and proud of it then go the whole hog and get yourself a golfing keyring.
• Become Lord And Lady Of The Glen! - If you're anything like me you'll probably agree that the Mr and Mrs title always sounds so dull and normal when you introduce yourself at parties or have to complete one of those nasty forms from the bank. Well all of that can now change with the introduction of this great new product enabling you to legally become Laird or Lady of Glencairn by virtue of the purchase of one square foot of land forming part of the Glencairn estate in Scotland! Simply complete the freepost registration card enclosed within this attractively presented gift pack and upon receipt Scottish Highland Titles will produce a personalised legal title deed inscribed with your name a personal plot number and a proof of title card. Laird meaning land owner is a title that can be used by men or women but the commonly accepted equivalent for women is Lady . We can't guarantee that champagne will fall from the heavens and velvet ropes will part but this Laird and Lady gift pack will certainly give your social status a boost!
• Black Playboy Bunny Beach Towel - The perfect accessory for any sun loving hunk this summer. This plush black beach towel comes pre-washed for added softness and features the white playboy logo on it. Towel measures 100cm x 180cm.
• The Starship Earth 2 - Unlock The Mysteries Of The Heavens Takes You On A Journey Through The Universe. Here's the next best thing to a trip on the space shuttle. STARSHIP EARTH II will help you explore the universe.
• Berkley Tray - Carry those cups of tea in style on this Berkley tray.
• Berkley Cd Box - Keep all your favourite CD's safe in this Berkley CD box.
• The Signature - A beautiful oval hardwood base showcases not only a 4.7-inch antique globe with charming brass accents but a matching pen and business card holder.
• Golf Pen Holder - This handy pen holder with the golfy theme is a perfect little gift for the golf fiend.
• Golf Gift Set - This golf gift set contains a business card holder desk pen and card holder keyring and letter opener. All with the golfers theme.
• Designer Fragrance K9 - Probably the pet product of the year. This designer fragrance is modelled on a well known man's fragrance but I'm not saying who for fears of reprisal from the manufacturer. What I will say is I have smelt this and tried it and believe it or not you could get away with using it yourself. The smell is extremely nice and pleasant. The perfect treat for any canine friend.
• Snow Surfer Jet Ski Sledge - Featuring two heavy duty handles cool graphics and a pair of bottom runners for added direction and speed you’ll be the talk of the slopes with the fantastic new snow surfer sledge. With a heavy duty vinyl construction and double welded seams for added durability this sledge not only looks amazing but will keep going year after year! Designed for ages 7+
• Bonking Devils Mug - This naughty pair of Satan's little helpers look like they're having a devilishly good time. Good quality mug presented in a matching gift box.
• Fbi Mug - I don't think J. Edgar Hoover quite had this in mind when he setup the FBI in the 1920's but from looking at this good quality mug presented in a matching gift box I think we've got the better idea out of the two!
• Orgasm Keychain - Carry the orgasm key chain and let your friends give you hundreds of orgasms every day! Simply touch the lips and listen to it scream with absolute delight. Ahh if only it was this easy in real life!
• Desktop Orgy - Add a little naughty nookie to your desk with this black paper weight featuring magnetically charged silver cutouts of naked people having a rompingly good time!
• Cocktail Tuxedo Shaker - Add a spot of sophisticated glamour to your cocktail hour with your very own tuxedo wearing cocktail shaker.
• Hot Pink Large Suitcase - So there you are standing at the luggage carousel at the airport looking tanned and relaxed after your holiday when suddenly all hell breaks loose as ten other people have just mistaken your suitcase for theirs. Avoid the violence stress and confusion of the airport luggage scrum this year by snapping up this distinctive hard wearing hot pink suitcase that will ensure you stand out from the rest of the crowd. Produced from ABS plastic this incredibly high quality twenty nine inch suitcase features both combination and key locking mechanisms vertical telescopic and horizontal carry handles two wheels clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. As seen on Big Brother 2004! Don't worry though you won't have to endure twelve weeks spent with a bunch of 'manic hyenas' as your suitcase will be delivered straight to your house. Unfortunately due to unprecedented demand for this item we are now currently out of stock. Our next shipment for this item will be the end of August.
• Steadystick Wine Bottle Holder - Lightweight yet sturdily produced this steadystick wine bottle holder is a great idea for securely holding your favourite tipple whilst enjoying a picnic in the park. Simply stick the prong into the grass and avoid the precarious balancing act of a full bottle on uneven ground so that you don’t have the nightmare of spillage on your favourite rug.
• Dreamy Elvis Cufflinks - Girls if you can’t have the real thing then at least go half way and have the worlds most desirable unavailable stud muffin on your arm by way of your fellas pucka new shirt. The perfect gift and very pleasing to the eye. You can’t go wrong.
• Elvis Colour Portrait Cufflinks - For all your die hard Elvis fans who sit and reminisce watching Blue Hawaii. This is the perfect finishing touch to any white shiny gold studded skin tight high collared flared jumpsuit!!! A real must have.
• 1976 Aloha Elvis Cufflinks - If you’re a ’Waikiki kiki boy’ then these Aloha Elvis cufflinks are definitely for you. The perfect finishing touch to any white shiny gold studded skin tight high collared flared jumpsuit!!! A real must have.
• 1950's Elvis Cufflinks - Girls if you can’t have the real thing then at least go half way and have the worlds most desirable unavailable stud muffin on your arm by way of your fellas pucka new shirt. The perfect gift and very pleasing to the eye. You can’t go wrong.
• Kiddies Garden Hammock - Children’s metal and canvas hammock. Brightly coloured and assembled in about 30m minutes. I would however recommend that it is assembled with 2 people rather than one. Well constructed and extremely strong once assembled. Dimensions
• Smooches Soap - Bathe in kisses with this romantic champagne and strawberries bar.
• Numero Shot Glass Set - If you find it hard to keep count of your drinks then this shot glass set is perfect!
• Shotrocks - You can't beat simple ideas and this is a corker. Imagine drinking vodka out of a glass made of Guinness. This is just one bizarre combination. We will leave the rest up to you!
• Cd Rock Junior - Wurlitzer style CD/Radio/Cassette this version has the lot MW/FM Radio Cassette CD Player remote control illuminating bubble tubing authentic wooden cabinet rotary volume control 5 watts per channel and mains supply
• Dolphin Clock - What's a Dolphin Clock you're thinking well it's a clock with a picture of a Dolphin in the sea but it's also sound activated on the hour and omits four different sea and Dolphin sounds. I know bit annoying at night you're thinking no sorry we thought of that a clever little light sensor automatically turns off the sound at night. Takes 3 x AA Batteries
• Glow In The Dark Beer Tumbler - This is for all those die hard drinkers who collapse in bed or on the settee totally p***ed and then wake up really thirsty well now thanks to us you'll be able to find that tumbler of beer even in the dark.
• Hot Pink Medium Suitcase - So there you are standing at the luggage carousel at the airport looking tanned and relaxed after your holiday when suddenly all hell breaks loose as ten other people have just mistaken your suitcase for theirs. Avoid the violence stress and confusion of the airport luggage scrum this year by snapping up this distinctive hard wearing hot pink suitcase that will ensure you stand out from the rest of the crowd. Produced from ABS plastic this incredibly high quality twenty five inch suitcase features both combination and key locking mechanisms vertical telescopic and horizontal carry handles two wheels clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. As seen on Big Brother 2004! Don't worry though you won't have to endure twelve weeks spent with a bunch of 'manic hyenas' as your suitcase will be delivered straight to your house. Unfortunately due to unprecedented demand for this item we are now currently out of stock. Our next shipment for this item will be the end of August.
• Dolly The Sexy Inflatable Sheep - Superb! I can see a few of these being delivered as unsuspecting gifts sent anonymously quite possibly. Your office could be flooded with these soon. I don't think your friends will brag about receiving one though? Who did you say that guy was on the box?
• Currency Cufflinks-blue - Ponds Dollars Euros Yen. Just to remind you how little you actually get paid. Especially after Tony and co have had there cut.
• Gear Knob Cufflink-teal - Never seen Cufflinks like these before probably my favourites but then I am a bit strange so I'm told
• Table Football - I don't really need to describe this as we've all played table football and we all love it whether we are 9 or 90 years old. Now you too can own your very own table football game. The frame of this table is constructed from heavy duty chipboard with a wood face. The legs are constructed from the same material and are 4 square which when bolted to the table make it extremely rigid and sturdy. The feet are also adjustable. The playing surface is made from a green faced hardboard and is slightly ramped at the ends to prevent the ball from getting stuck in the corners. The table also comes complete with a scoring mechanism at each end. The whole assembly process takes approximately 20 minutes from start to finish. The total shipping weight is approximately 30KGS and the dimensions are 4ft x 2ft or 1200mm x 600mm. Please note that players colours may vary from picture shown. This item can only be delivered to UK addresses. May vary slightly from picture.
• 14 Inch Plush Devil - Twice the size of our little friend but still as horny no actually even hornier. I will leave it up to you whether you send this one or the smaller one but guys you have got to get the right message across and girls please remember us guys can be very sensitive at times. Remember as Renault say in a sexy French accent. SIZE MATTERS
• 7 Inch Little Devil - I prefer to call them Horny Devils. These things seem to be the craze at the moment I was in the pub the other night and the women were wearing little horns on there heads. Now you can go one further and send them one at work with another mystery message like. You were so horny the other night
• Super Bright Torch Keyring - This virtually unbreakable ultra bright torch is an ideal companion to your car keys as its mini size and ultra light weight design allow you to have it with you at all times. Four long life replacement batteries included.
• Lovers Magnetic Dartboard - Anyone remember Bullseye with big Tony standing at the side shouting ”one hundred and eighty!” all the time? Well with this magnetic dartboard you’re far more likely to score and you don’t have to be over fifteen stone and drink pints to play! With saucy scoring suggestions such as ’cover me in chocolate and lick it off’ and ’blindfold me!’ this lover’s magnetic dartboard is sure to improve your aim!
• Da Bomb Candle - You’re da bomb baby! An essential gift idea to anyone in an explosive relationship!
• Red Devil Punching Puppet - The battle between good vs evil is in your hands and the Devils mad and he’s ready to rumble! This 12 inch Red Devil Punching Puppet has two levers under his black smock allowing you to control his jabs and uppercuts while his bright red plastic head bobs and weaves on a spring.
• Lovers Whip - This Cat-O-Nine Tails whip is definitely not for the faint hearted amongst us.
• Acre Of Land On Venus - Now you too can own your very own acre of land on the female species home planet Venus. So what do you get for your £19.99?. Venusian Deed which confirms your registration of the one acre of Venus and gives the co-ordinates of your plot. The Venusian Map so you can see where your property is located. The Venusian Constitution and Bill of Rights which details the Venusian laws your rights and of course the all important laws of THE BIG CHEESE. A transcript of the Declaration of Ownership. This is the document filed with the USA and Russia along with the United Nations General Assembly in 1980 in which Dennis M. Hope - The BIG CHEESE - first laid claim Venus. A document confirming you have Mineral Rights to your land. Postage paid registration Card. This all comes in a slick Moon Estates gift pack which makes this a wonderful and unique gift.
• Acre Of Land On Mars - Now you too can own your very own acre of land on the male species home planet Mars. So what do you get for your money?. Martian Deed which confirms your registration of the one acre of Mars and gives the co-ordinates of your plot. The Martian Map so you can see where your property is located. The Martian Constitution and Bill of Rights which details the Martian laws your rights and of course the all important laws of THE BIG CHEESE. A transcript of the Declaration of Ownership. This is the document filed with the USA and Russia along with the United Nations General Assembly in 1980 in which Dennis M. Hope - The BIG CHEESE - first laid claim Mars. A document confirming you have Mineral Rights to your land. Postage paid registration Card. This all comes in a slick Moon Estates gift pack which makes this a wonderful and unique gift.
• An Acre Of Land On The Moon - Now you too can own your very own acre of land on the light side of the moon join the likes of Clint Eastwood Tom Cruise; the original cast of Star Trek and two US ex-presidents. So what do you get for your money? Lunar Deed which confirms your registration of the one acre of the moon and gives the co-ordinates of your plot. The Lunar Map so you can see where on the light side of the moon your property is located. The Lunar Constitution and Bill of Rights which details the Lunar laws your rights and of course the all important laws of THE BIG CHEESE. A transcript of the Declaration of Ownership. This is the document filed with the USA and Russia along with the United Nations General Assembly in 1980 in which Dennis M. Hope - The BIG CHEESE - first laid claim to the Moon. A document confirming you have Mineral Rights to your land. Postage paid registration Card. This all comes in a slick Moon Estates gift pack which makes this a wonderful and unique gift. Note: The Lunar deed comes blank the recipient then fills in their name and sends off a pre-paid registration card which completes the legal process. Once you have got your acre of land on the moon you can get a picture of it from the Clementine Lunar Image Browser Frequently Asked Questions
• Hot Pink Small Suitcase - So there you are standing at the luggage carousel at the airport looking tanned and relaxed after your holiday when suddenly all hell breaks loose as ten other people have just mistaken your suitcase for theirs. Avoid the violence stress and confusion of the airport luggage scrum this year by snapping up this distinctive hard wearing hot pink suitcase that will ensure you stand out from the rest of the crowd. Produced from ABS plastic this incredibly high quality twenty inch suitcase features both combination and key locking mechanisms vertical telescopic and horizontal carry handles two wheels clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. As seen on Big Brother 2004! Don't worry though you won't have to endure twelve weeks spent with a bunch of 'manic hyenas' as your suitcase will be delivered straight to your house. Unfortunately due to unprecedented demand for this item we are now currently out of stock. Our next shipment for this item will be the end of August.
• Football Remote - This remote is sure to surpass all sales records the recordings are hilarious and the one about the ref is a little rude but so often true. Any football fan will without any doubt simply love this.
• Male Edible Undies - I was quite honoured when they asked me to pose for the picture on the box but unfortunately they refused to pay me for it. These will come in handy if your partner gets the munchies before or after. No I have not tasted them but Strawberry with chocolate should appeal to most women I know.
• Worlds Most Boring Fart - From our amazingly popular Awarded to you range this award is modelled on an Oscar and let's face it everybody we all know one of these might be a good idea to send it anonymously unless you are feeling particularily brave or STUPID! (Not recommended to be sent to the Boss)
• Saucy Secrets - This is a game full of juicy gossip and titillating titbits! Discover the sauciest of secrets about your friends in this compulsive game of lust: it's a three round contest in which players try to spot the secrets of the rich and famous (yes I am included in the famous list) or guess the results of sexy surveys. Stranger than fiction the results will often amaze and shock you
• Sex Bomb - From our amazingly popular Awarded to you range this award is modelled on an Oscar and one is being sent today to someone in our Company from me however I am sending it anonymously with a message hinting it is actually from someone else. Oh how I love winding people up.
• Traffic Zone Cones - Bedroom - We all see these every day of our lives at those never ending roadworks well; we have found some with a different use but still giving off the same old warning signal. This one is specially designed for the bedroom or should I say outside the bedroom just to warn other traffic of the actions taking place within the sacred zone
• Traffic Zone Cones - Smooch - We all see these every day of our lives at those never ending roadworks well; we have found some with a different use but still giving off the same old warning signal.This one warning that the prohibited area is currently being used as a Lip Massage Zone the rest i will leave to your imagination!
• Socoholics - Is your man always complaining about his team and away every Saturday with his mates?? Don't worry help is at hand!! Pop 2 of these pills into his early morning drink and within 20 minutes he will be instantly cured or glued to the toilet all day. -Sold as a novelty only-
• Stud Pills - These Pills taken regularly will turn you into a hot throbbing sex magnet. Note for Women- Slip 2 pills into the old mans cocoa before bedtime and you will have the worst nights sleep ever but you won't be complaining. -Sold as a novelty only-
• Aphrodesiac - Do you know I never could spell this word. These little beauties will help liven up any evening but be warned do not take when one is alone results can be disasterous. Take 2 pills turn down the lights put some soft music on eat a dozen Oysters washed down with a pint of Bulls blood. Then watch the Adult Channel for 3 hours and we guarantee you will be in the mood. PS If that doesn't work nobody is ever going to ant you anyway! You Loser.-Sold as a novelty only-
• Willy Up - Picks up the parts other pills leave behind. Best served warmed with 3 members of the opposite sex large amounts of Wine (preferably white) - no the wine; the colour of the opposite sex does not matter; and finally add some dimmed lighting and erotic videos.-Sold as a novelty only-
• Instant Arousal - Best taken before bed time and when not sleeping alone dangerous results can occur when the night is spent alone. Please gain partners consent before taking and do not take with any other medicine. -Sold as a novelty only-
• Stopping Smoking - This funny but helpful book takes a humerous look at the trials and tribulations of trying to stop smoking while at the same time offering serious advice on how to stop and stay stopped. The ideal gift for anyone who's ever thought about trying to quit. Also highly recommended as a subtle hint that you want someone to give up the evil weed.
• Farting - All you ever wanted to know about blowing off but were afraid to ask. A humerous look at one of those ever embarrassing moments when denial is the only option.
• The Little Toilet Book - If you and the millions like you are amused at the mention of the littlest room in the house and its functions then this original collection of Chamber-Potted histories jokes euphemisms true stories and urban myths is guaranteed to keep you pinned to your seat (no not that seat) to the last page.
• Men Are From Mars - This book is a valuable guide for learning how to communicate with the man in your life. Dr John Gray offers essential advice on how to develop a deeper and more loving relationship.
• Safe Disk Holder - What a superb idea at last somewhere to keep all those floppys that people keep pinching. Well now you can have this attractive little safe on your desk with a combination lock and LCD clock on the front. Holds 20 diskettes. My desk is now covered with loads of these little Gadgety Gizmos I'm the envy of the office and no one else is getting any of them. Batteries Included
• Orgasm Mirror - Wicked fun or what have a listen if you think you can handle it! Motion sensor detects when a person is in front of the mirror and then the fun begins. To hear this product in action use the player below. If you can not see the player or it does not work this is because the sounds are in mp3 format and you don't have the necessary player. You can download a wav version of the sound file here .
• Attack Of The Crawling Hand - This hand looks creepy enough just standing there but make a loud noise and it will start to crawl across the room. For the most fun hide it behind the sofa while watching a scary movie with your girlfriend. When the moment is right clap your hands and wait for the screams...
• Girls Best Friend Mirror - Every girl should have one of these ideal for giving that moral boosting when feeling low full of compliments and whether for you or a friend satisfaction is guaranteed. Motion sensor detects when a person is in front of the mirror and then the fun begins. To hear this product in action use the player below. If you can not see the player or it does not work this is because the sounds are in mp3 format and you don't have the necessary player. You can download a wav version of the sound file here .
• Six Shooter Tequilla Roulette - I like this one a game of roulette using Shot glasses and a roulette wheel. Wicked fun for sure and great whether for a nights drinking over the festive period or surely a must for those summer barbecues. There are two different games that can be played each as evil as the other.
• Camouflage Print Large Suitcase - So there you are standing at the luggage carousel at the airport looking tanned and relaxed after your holiday when suddenly all hell breaks loose as ten other people have just mistaken your suitcase for theirs. Avoid the violence stress and confusion of the airport luggage scrum this year by snapping up this distinctive hard wearing camouflage suitcase that will ensure you stand out from the rest of the crowd. Produced from ABS plastic this incredibly high quality twenty nine inch suitcase features both combination and key locking mechanisms vertical and horizontal handles four wheels clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. As seen on Big Brother 2004.
• Armchair Cushion Green And Yellow Stripe - This dark green and gold stripe armchair cushion features removable covers matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood armchair. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Recliner Cushion Terracotta Check - This terracotta check recliner cushion features an adjustable head rest and removable covers. Matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood recliner chair. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Meyer Professional Fish Poacher - Beautifully produced from high quality heavy gauge polished 18/10 stainless steel for maximum durability this 7 litre fish poacher features a 6mm full cap upper and lower steamer baskets and a friction bonded stainless steel and aluminium base which eliminates hot spots and ensures even heat distribution. Stylish stainless steel fittings are oven safe up to 475F/240C/gas mark 9 and best of all it's dishwasher safe and comes complete with a Meyer 25 year guarantee!
• Niagra Herbal Bath Remedy - Life can be a little saggy as you get older. (So I'm told) What goes up can fall down. Just soak in this relaxing herbal bath and defy gravity.
• Carrot Vibrator - Guaranteed to be one of our fastest selling lines this thing looks just like a Carrot in every aspect (A BIG Carrot) 10 Takes 2 x AA Batteries not supplied. Comes complete with variable speed control.
• Pull It Bottle Opener - This little gadget is excellent just clamp the sides round the bottle of wine push the handle down lift and out pops the wine cork it is so easy you have just got to try it to believe it. These things are normally priced everywhere I have seen them at around £70.00 and i think we are one of the first to offer them at under £40.00. Just think of the browny points you will get when sending this to friends they will think you've spent nearly twice what you actually have. Course you could just by it for yourself and impress the hell out your friends.
• Swann Secureview Monitor - Swann's SecuraView modular system lets you easily build a CCTV (Closed Circuit Television) system to suit your needs. Another SecuraCam can be added to allow another area of your home or business to be monitored. The SecuraView monitor lets you auto-switch between the two cameras so you can keep an eye on what each camera is monitoring. SecuraCam uses a high quality black and white CMOS lens delivering a crystal clear picture to the SecuraView Monitor. SecuraCam also has a built-in microphone allowing you to hear exactly what is happening and infra-red LED's (Light Emitting Diode) positioned around the lens allows low light surveillance.
• Karaoke King Twin - Karaoke machine that comes complete with two microphones double tape decks and built in sound system. This is sure to turn that mundane party or dinner event into an outrageous fun evening. Or on the other hand you could start practicing to be on Stars In There Eyes or be the next Heresay! PLEASE NO!
• Orgasm Spray - I wonder if it works. Actually contains a rather pleasant air freshener.
• Xmas Stocking For Dogs - Bumper stocking packed full of treats and toys for your favourite pooch. No I am not going to list them all because I will be here all day. Just trust me when I say it is crammed packed.
• Gumball Machine + Jar Of 70 Gumballs - Haven't seen these for years. They really are extremely authentic and are well made constructed of metal. Just put your money in the slot turn the knob and out pops your Gumball. Plus we will give you a free jumbo jar of 70 Gumballs just to get you going. What nice people we are!!!!!!!!!
• Big Mean Kitty - Do not be mistaken this Cat is no your usual cute fluffball but is actually what every cat chasing dog needs. A chance to feel mouth control without anyone getting hurt. Big Mean Kitty is BIG 15 tall infact.
• Cat A Whirl - It's a bird It's a plane no it's Cat A Whirl. A truly aerodynamic marvel that's sure to turn some heads. So go don't be lazy get out of that chair find a nice big patch of grass and let the good times begin with your dog getting some exercise and you losing a few pounds. Which come on you know you could do with.
• Blue And White Chiffon Lace Look Scarf - Measuring approximately 53x53cm this Italian produced chiffon lace look head/neck scarf features an elegant cream and black design with printed flowers at the edges.
• V-touch Mobile Phone Hands Free Kit - This is proving to be the essential phone accessory of the year! Stock is becoming increasingly limited so snap one up while you’ve got the chance! The V-Touch mobile phone hands free kit works by picking up vibrations directly from your voice box which means that all other background noise that normally gets picked up by other hands free microphones is completely blocked out. Very robust lightweight and comfortable to use this device is an absolute god send for busy people on the move who need to keep in contact. Currently works with Nokia 3210/3310/8210/8250/8850/8890 and additional models will follow. We're so confident that you'll love this hands free kit that we're prepared to offer a full 30 day money back guarantee if your not completely satisfied with the product!
• Pretty Princess Talking Mirror - While you brush your hair or fix your makeup you can now listen to an array of compliments that are sure to boost even the most flagging of ego's and leave you feeling good about yourself.
• Sexy Man Wire Game - Can you navigate your way round this hunks body without touching him where you shouldn't?. If you do touch the wire he comes out with an array of sayings some are quite funny some very corny. All in all good clean(ish) party fun.
• Scary Wire Game - This is scary. You better have a steady hand as all it takes a minor slip for you to touch the wire and a series of very loud screachy screams are emitted. Hair raising stuff!
• Talking Pig Bin - It looks like this little piggy stayed at home and ate all the pies! Simply lift the lid and the pink piggy makes scoffing noises and grunts when the lid closes.
• Natural Wood Picture Frame 20 X 15 Cm - Large picture frame made from natural wood. Simple and pure in both looks and design. This frame will go in almost any setting whether it be modern or contemporary.
• Set Of 4 Clear Bubble Champagne Flutes - This set of four champagne flutes from the Sia Nordic Blonde range are beautifully produced and feature a very eye catching bubble design.
• Aqua Vase 17 X 15 Cm - Blue Aqua vase with mini bubble effect throughout the opaque design. Very eye catching and gives a beautiful translucent effect when filled with water
• Painted Herb Planter - Pair of ceramis herb planters. Ideal for indoor use and comes decorated with a selection of herbs painted on the sides.
• Big Mouth Billy Bass Superstar - I’ll try not to carp on about how fantastic Big mouth billy bass is as its obvious he’s the Codfather of sole. Perched up on the stage he’s obviously back in his rightful plaice dancing and singing to “Act naturally” and “I will survive”. It's guaranteed that you'll fall hook line and sinker for him as his talents are scaling new heights!
• Airzooka - Now are we having some fun here or what. This is damn fine superb and wonderful. Aim at your mate pull the rubber in the back towards yourself and it shoots the most amazing jet of air up to 20 feet. It really does work and does it with considerable venom. Makes peoples hair blow back ruffles shirts and just imagine what it could do to a short skirt. I love it!!! Click here to see the Airzooka in action.
• Covert Camera - Book Packing - Now this is quite some piece of kit set the camera up and plug the receiver in the back of a television and hey presto you have your very own surveillance system. We have tried this out in the office and it is excellent. Superb for secretly filming what you shouldn't or just for added shop or office security. Comes complete with file which can be left anywhere with camera hidden inside. Completely cable and lead free. Excellent i like this one! We set it up in the warehouse last night and have just been watching the boys who always claim to be rushed off there feet!!!! I THINK NOT. For the last half hour they have been messing around on Oddballs. Boy oh Boy have we got them now!!!!!
• Pocket Kama Sutra - Umm Interesting. Never seen that one before but it does look rather good.
• Mobile Phone Sensor Pen - Good idea! Pen flashes when your mobile phone rings. So now you can take your phone into work with you and know when it's ringing (even if the ringer is turned off) because the sensor on your pen will flash.
• Kissing Love Tester - Hold the heart with a partner (Or someone you just happen to fancy) Pucker up and start kissing making sure only your lips touch. Either the heart will glow and play music (Love is in the air!) Or you will hear a buzzer sound. Sounds like a good excuse to try again to me.
• Wherefore Art My Words To You - This fun greeting card contains a real surprise inside. Open it up and it say's No way I can't put that in the description. I'll give you a little insight though. I really Love You ------------- Fancy A Sh!!!!!!!!!
• Great Sex Guide - I like this book! No that's a lie it's Bloody Fantastic. Tells you how to do all of the following with illustrations Sensual Massage How to touch yourself intimately for men and women Prolonging The Pleasure Sexual Positions Pleasing Your Partner The Woman on Top The Man on Top. This book is excellent not tacky very well illustrated and very educational.
• Socks - Midlle Age Spread - Whatever your age you are never too old to indulge in a little middle age spread
• A Guide To Sex & Seduction - A comprehensive guide on the delicate art of seduction with advice on the four basic rules: Like How to get her kit off in the fastest time available How to chat up the rules of foreplay and Bonking.
• Jelly Boobs - Fruit flavoured jelly boobs. Remember to suck them and not chew.
• Jelly Willies - Fruit flavoured Jelly willies just incase you get that urge and fancy a nibble girls.
• Ladies Emergency Toolkit - Contents include a vibrating massager and a spanner. Please do not ask what the spanner is for I have absolutely no idea. But if you do work it out please let me know.;
• Blow Job Voucher - What a voucher to have! This voucher entitles you to a blow job from the person who gives it to you preferably your partner! You can redeem The Blow Job Voucher - No sorry i'm not giving it away but the terms and sexual conditions are not only hilarious but somewhat close to the bone.
• I Love You Mum Teddy Bear - This cute little Bear comes with his own little jumper on saying I Love You Mum. Very soft and sure to please any Mum. Approximately 7 High
• 3.5inch X 2.5inch Photo Frame - The perfect photo frame for your Mum to put that extra special picture in.
• Best Mum Bear - Cute furry little Bear telling your Mum what she should already know that she is the BEST MUM
• 18cm Sitting Cats - These wonderfully soft cute little pussies are just a must for any child or any avid soft toy collector.
• 16cm England Bear With Fleece Top - Come on England! This teddy is officially our mascot for 2002 and does he look good in his fleece top or what. The jumper on this little chappy is better than any of my clothes.
• Football Doorbell - Remind your local posty of the last time he went to the match by getting the football supporters doorbell...and if he doesn't like it well it serves them right for waking you up early on Saturday morning. Your mates are just gonna love this!
• Jack Daniels Boxed Black Mug - Jack Daniels mug complete with gift box.
• Football Radio - Make sure your not the one off for an early bath by staying in touch of the World Cup football even when your actually in the bath! Features FM and MW radio reception with a big on/off nose to punch when England aren't doing so well!
• Budweiser Square Modern Gas Lighter - Refillable modern square Budweiser lighter in gift box.
• Jack Daniels Cylinder Retro Lighter - Refillable retro style cylinder lighter from Jack Daniels.
• Budweiser Twist Ballpoint Pen - Very stylish Budweiser twist ballpoint pen and very nice to write with too. This pen is disappearing tonight.
• Budweiser Whassup Mousemat Red & Blue - Whassup Mousemat
• Mans Decision Making Mug - Mens electronic random decision making mug. Don't know what to do next? Simply lift the mug and the led lights start flashing and eventually rest on one of the decisions. It just told me to have a night out. Thank god it didn't stop on go and cut the lawn!
• Womans Decision Making Mug - Womens electronic random decision making mug. Don't know what to do next? Simply lift the mug and the led lights start flashing and eventually rest on one of the decisions. Various choices like go shopping paint toe nails or eat chocolate.
• Bottle Opener Drinking Game - Cool idea as soon as the metal opener circuit is completed by touching the metal bottle top the led lights start flashing. Eventually it stops on one of the various options like pour into glass take a swig or down in one to mention but a few. Great
• Www.f**koff.com Mug - What a superb mug and a genius of an idea. A little bit rude or should I say a lot rude. But sure to grab someones attention whether being given as a gift or for personal use.
• Pooing Pig - The follow up to our sensationally successful pooing rabbit. Comes complete with some sweets to get the poo rolling.
• Spider-man 12in Bike - Styled on its 16in bigger brother this 12in (30cm) bike features a front calliper brake on mag style wheels with EVA tyres and stabilisers. A full chain cover and adjustable seat and handle heights means that the bike can be adjusted as your children grow.
• Spider-man 16in Bike - With a bright red to blue paintjob and steel rim wheels and chunky air tyres this 16 inch (41cm) bike looks like it could handle some pretty rough terrain. Front and rear calliper brakes and a fully adjustable seat and adjustable handlebars complete this great bike.
• Spider-man Skateboard Red - This new and improved board features stronger adjustable trucks with blue wheels and shows the acrobatic Peter Parker in the classic spiderman pose doing his thang on the flipside as he swings from rooftop to rooftop.
• Silver Football And Boot Cufflinks - Stylish Football and Boot Cufflinks for the gentleman who craves the game. Beautifully presented in a lift off lid gift box.
• Brush Finished Aluminium Desk Radio - Super Cool or what! This radio is actually only about 10mm thick and really does look extremely stylish. Both FM and AM comes complete with batteries.
• Digga The Dog - Oh my god what on earth have we got here! I can see our buyers have been excelling themselves again. This little fella is movement activated when motion occurs behind his cute little bottom he starts to bark and his back leg tries to dig at the ground he then omits wind via his bottom and believe me when he omits wind he does it with a certain conviction. To hear this product in action use the player below.
• Liquid E - Need an energy zap to keep you in the animal mood whilst clubbing? If so then we've got the product for you right here. Liquid E is a 100% natural herbal alternative to alcohol or drugs and are non toxic non addictive and leave you with no nasty come-downs after effects or hangovers. Ingredients Guarana ginseng ginko damiana paul d'arco schizandra smilax natural colour (163) flavours (cola cinnamon) preservative (202) and caffeine. WOW I need one now after describing that lot. Warning: do not take if on medication or if you have any pre-existing health problems without first consulting a health practitioner. Do not use if you are driving operating machinery or if you are pregnant lactating mother nursing or have heart disease diabetes difficulty in urination to enlargement of prostrate gland. We make no health claims and can take no responsibility for the consequences of their use. Not suitable for anyone under the age of 18.
• Cd Bear 24 Cd Rack - This CD Bear disc rack would look good in either a girls or a boys bedroom and can hold 24 cd’s with the option to be wall mounted and is suitable for ages 3 and up.
• Blue Viscose Graffiti Scarf - Measuring approximately 53x53cm this Italian produced head/neck scarf features a stylish urban graffiti design in light and dark blue.
• 6 Pack Tankard - With the slogan ’To some it’s a six pack to me it’s a support group’ this tankard is meant for the hardened beer drinker who finds comfort in having a few pints whilst putting they’re feet up in front of the tv. If only they could fit the same phrase onto a shot glass I’d probably get one!
• Desktop Racer Radio Controlled Car - Small in size but big in fun! These nifty little radio controlled cars powered by 2 AA batteries located in the handset (not supplied) are a great stress reliever for all deskbound office racers. I am of course the office champion so far as we've pushed two desks together to make up the unofficial circuit with coffee mugs and pen holders as the corner markers! Simply attach the extendable aerial to the remote control clip the car into the charge port on the controller and in approximately 45 seconds your ready to race! Measures approximately 63mm in length and 30mm height.
• Pink Lushfile X4 - You too can be pretty in pink with this great pack of four suede feel hot pink lushfiles! Why should you have to suffer badly made boring black folders that everyone else has got when there’s touchy feely pink ones available that are sooo you?
• Chequers 1.3m Round Table With Lazy Susan And Four Recliners - Chequers 1.3m round table with lazy susan and 4 chequers recliners. This elegantly crafted round table in chequers pattern comes complete with a lazy susan so there is no need to stretch across the table. Included are 4 stylish chequer patterned recliners. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Blue Lushfile X4 - Very classy but never conservative this four pack of ocean blue suede feel lushfiles are bound to give the contents an air of style and sophistication whether its your bank statements or mobile phone bills (or an A4 pad with doodles all over it from yesterdays dull geography lesson!)
• Purple Lushfile X4 - The colour purple has always suggested an air of mystery and sensuality. Now I can’t guarantee either of those things as these are only A4 folders not something from the Witches of Eastwick but they’ll definitely give your coursework or home filing that certain something extra…
• Bulaggi Black Calf Wallet - Compact wallet with credit card section zip pocket note holder and two further interior pockets. Measures approximately 4.5 x 3.5 x 1 .
• Large Pill Box - Measuring approximately 10cm in length this handy pill shaped metal container will keep its contents safe and dry. Not the most inconspicuous place to hide anything illegal which is why alt-gifts.com recommends that you keep your penny sweets in there instead.
• Open Bottle Here Bottle Opener - Manufactured since 1925 this is a real design classic. Every home should have one! This wall-mounted bottle opener is an essential in any home or bar. No more hunting through kitchen drawers - you will always know where to find it! Made from zinc-plated cast iron. Gift boxed (with screws)
• Jeanette - Girl Lying Sculpture - Beautifully produced bronze statue of Jeanette from Frith Sculpture measuring 3 x12 (8x31cm)
• Hipster Plastic Cocktail Shaker - 9 out of 10 Hipsters agree that this is the coolest shaker on the scene! Outrageous cocktail recipes are printed on the side. To ensure your cocktails are perfect there are exact measurement indicators. Have a good one…or four!
• Pretty Princess Talking Hairbrush - This talking hairbrush will tell you how gorgeous you are and how lovely your hair is while you brush those golden locks.
• Executive Shooting Gallery - As seen in Company Magazine Vintage style arcade shooting gallery scaled down for desktop shooting and loaded with all the big game fun of the original. Nine fixed targets two moving motorised targets classic funfair music and built in scorers. Designed for safety with the ammunition locked behind a screen the metal tipped gun propels the ammo so you can enjoy a little shot ’em up stress relief! Comes complete with gun and a space saving foldaway stand. Requires 2 ”AA” batteries (not included).
• Farting Salt And Pepper Pots - Classic! Sorry but these are just fantastic farting salt and pepper pots. What can I say but brilliant I took these home over the weekend and the look on peoples faces when they use them is priceless! The best thing is they really do look good as well serving a practical purpose.
• Executive Putting Green Game - It's a challenge worthy of a pro. A desktop golf course where timing putter head speed and an iron nerve rule! Adding to the challenge and excitement the water sand traps and green rotate in opposite directions ensuring that the correct finger lever club speed is the key to becoming the champion. Look out Tiger Woods!
• Executive Punch Bag - Work stress getting you down? Vent some anger with this rough and tough executive punch bag. Designed to take on your best jabs hooks and cuts this fast inflating punch bag is secured with suction cups and is mounted on a spring post base for gym style return action.
• Alec - Alec the bear is all kitted out as if he were Jacques Cousteau…I can't help but think he's got the wrong equipment ready though! Approx 4 x 2 x 2
• Shackleton - Blimey this is so true. I should know as I was married once upon a time….certainly wasn't a fairy tail though! Approx 4 x 2 x 2
• Black And Crystal Heart Necklace And Earring Set - Diamonte black and crystal heart shaped necklace with matching earrings
• Wine Lovers Gift Set - Especially for the wine lovers we present the sommelier’s tools of the trade. Four essentials for opening and enjoying wines including a classic stainless steel corkscrew foil cutter and a stopper to reseal bottles. Also included is the invaluable drip collar to prevent stains on furniture linens and labels.
• Love Trivia Game - An ideal gift for any occasion and there’s nothing like an occasion for showing off your grasp of all things trivial! Guaranteed to break the ice at any party the Love Trivia questions are suitable for all the family.
• Ringo Plush Bear - Some cool dude or what. Ringo has his whole body pierced including his tongue. Approximate size 9.5 (240mm)
• Tv Trivia Game - From soaps to superstars comedy to tragedy this TV Trivia game is perfect for couch potatoes of all ages! This big box of trivia about the box features 2400 questions on 400 separate cards. Suitable for 2-4 players aged 8-adult.
• Classic Pop Tin Game - From Aretha and the Beatles via Motown and Led Zeppelin this Classic Gold pop tin features 2400 questions on the golden age of pop from the 60’s 70’s and 80’s! Suitable for 2-4 players aged 8-adult.
• Dogs Intelligence Test - Do you have a four legged Einstein or is your dog lovable because what he lacks in brains he makes up for in loyalty? Take this test to see where your best friend sits on the ”Smarts Chart”. Who knows you may have to rename your dog ”Albert”! Free stop watch included.
• Trout Tease Pet Toy - Don’t be embarrassed by what the cat drags in buy your favourite feline this kitty hoots trout tease. The perfect toy for your frustrated fish bowl angling cat! Contains zoom around the room high test organic catnip.
• Cherish Soap - This smooth looking soap has not only the wonderful smell of berries but it also has a red heart in the middle so if you want to act all soppy you can send it with a silly message like. Now you can put your heart next to mine next time you have a shower. Or I give my heart to you! Yuk I cant believe I just wrote that
• Xmas Stocking For Cats - All manner of goodies are included in this great Christmas stocking for cats…because pets need presents too! A total of eight items are included ranging from sisal dumbells to a white furry mouse!
• Cyber Cd - This is seriously cool extremely functional and amazingly stylish. CD player and Radio clock with alarm function. Digital Preset EQ (Jazz Classical Rock & Hall preset bass and treble). Digital Volume Control. Auto colour change display. Dimmer sleep and temperature display. Fully functional credit card size remote control. Powered by AC mains. Dimensions 210 x 230 x 200mm. Speakers 210 x 140 x 120mm
• Dancing And Singing Homer Simpson - “Feelin’ stupid? I know I am.” Couldn’t have put it better if I tried which is why I just love this large talking and dancing Homer Simpson as he keeps coming out with these fantastic sayings including his trademark “Woo hoo!” and “Doh!” whenever you hit the button. There’s also a built in motion sensor which is guaranteed to stop people in there tracks when he suddenly starts to sing and dance to Rappers Delight or Shake your bootie with his hips swinging and arms waving! A great gift for the die hard Simpsons fan. Requires 4 AA batteries (included)! To hear this product in action use the player below.
• Rub ’a’ Dub Dice - Rub ’a’ dub dice are floating dice that are meant to be used in the bath hot tub or pool. Roll the dice in the water and let the games begin. This is an erotic essential for water lovers!
• Face Painting - This inexpensive pack is ideal for parties dressing up sleepovers school plays and football matches. It includes 6 paints a brush and sponge plus a colour leaflet of ideas. Completely safe and conforming to cosmetic regulations. Pack size: 270x170x32mm. Age 4+.
• Sound And Music - All children love to make a noise! This kit enables them to create sounds music and basic melodies by building a simple drum a set of pipes a chime box wind chimes and a guitar. It's an ideal parent-child activity for younger children. Pack size: 240x160x60mm. Age 6+
• Jack Daniels Hip Flask Lighter - This classy and discreet lighter has been designed to mimic the looks and contours of a traditional hip flask (which of course would be full of Jack Daniels whiskey!)
• Homer Simpson Duff Beer Mousemat - For those of us who sit behind a pc all day dreaming of beer this Homer Simpson mousemat is an essential accessory for the computer!
• Orange Cocktail Lamp - Measuring approximately 20cm in height this impressive looking cocktail lamp is sure to add a little colour to the room even when it’s not switched on! The glass has been designed so that it looks like it has condensation running down the outside and comes complete with removal glass straw and slice of orange.
• Homo Erectus Apron - Jeez this guy really needs to wax. I’m not sure if that’s where he keeps his bananas or maybe he’s just pleased to see us. Anyway slip this apron on for a little monkey business in the kitchen and you’ll be everyone’s favourite (pri)mate.
• Florrie Large Plush Toy - Soft and cuddly Florrie from the magical world of Fimbles. Florrie is approximately 14 inches high and is made of soft striped plush fabric.
• Fimbo Large Plush Toy - Children can have their very own soft and cuddly Fimbo from the magical world of Fimbles. Approx 14 inches high and made of soft striped plush fabric.
• Knights Castle Play Set - If your children are feeling a little medieval why not get them this great castle play set featuring 10 soldiers and two horses all decorated in period armour with drawbridges battering rams and attack ramps.
• Single Sized Sand Free Beach Mat In Sleek Silver - Apart from a voluptuous baywatch beauty to help you apply your sun tan lotion this has to be the most stylish and practical companion for a perfect day on the beach. With built in inflatable head cushions and a pair of handy drinks holders this sleek silver single beach mat features inflatable sides to stop your beach towel looking like a sand dune by the end of the day.
• Wild Sling Water Bomb Launcher - It's true what they say men grow old but they never grow up and one look at this magnificent Wild Sling water bomb launcher confirms that this really is the daddy of all boys toys that'll transport you back to your youth in a flash! What could be better than getting a couple of your mates together in the park and loading up this incredibly powerful launcher with a freshly prepared water balloon and letting rip? The Wild Sling comes complete with a handy carry case and approximately 50 water balloons that can be launched to distances of up to 190+ metres. Winner of the 2004 Journal Group Best Spring Toy.
• 'g' Logo Small Bowling Handbag - Khaki bowling bag with white stripe detailing and stitched ’G’ for girlie or ’G’ for gorgeous the white stripes also feature on the handles. Has inside pocket. 9” x 5”
• Camouflage Handbag With Buckle Strap - A stylish camouflage bag. It comes with a short beige coloured webbed handles (not shoulder straps) and has in an inside pocket. 9” x 8”
• Electronic Barmaster - This hip flask-shaped pocket-size bartender is an excellent party host’s helper. Find drink recipes by name kind of alcohol type of drink or even the kind of glass to use! Also gives you cocktail basics tips and tricks terms measurements and a collection of drinking games. It even shows you how to calculate blood-alcohol levels! Let your guests try to stump the bartender. You’ll stir without being shaken and mix without getting mixed up!
• His And Her Racing Snails - Wind up the male and female snails turn off the lights and release them side by side. They even glow in the dark so you can see who wins him or her! Perfect for adult fun under the bedclothes!
• Dee Dee 7 Inch Plush Bear - I read an article in the newspaper recently based on a survey that showed that the art of female seduction is slowly on the decline so isn't it nice to see that the lady bears still make the effort! Approximate size 7 inches.
• Ewan 7 Inch Plush Bear - This has to be my second favourite for sure. No description is needed really as I feel sure ewe you understand what he's up to! Approximate size 7 inches.
• Little Book On Man Utd - This is a colourful collection of words of wit and wisdom by and about Manchester United’s players managers and officials past and present. From Alan Hansen’s falsely prophetic ”You’ll never win anything with kids” to Eric Cantona’s enigmatic aphorism on the theme of seagulls sardines and trawlers here are over 150 quotations that are Red to the core. Football!!!!
• Little Book On Liverpool - This is a classic collection of words of wit and wisdom by and about Liverpool Football Club’s players managers and officials past and present. From Bill Shankly to Gerard Houllier here are 150 soundbites for the true Liverpool fan ranging from the profound to the perplexing.
• Little Book Of Drinking - A collection of two hundred of the best mouth watering vomit inducing eye blistering gags ever written about drink drinkers and drinking in general!
• Web Guide To Erotica - Everything and anything related to the web and erotica can be found in this handy little pocket book. With the full web address and a well written description of what you’ll find make this invaluable book covers everything from foreplay to fetishes.
• Half Barrell Table With Four Chairs Cushions And Patio Heater - 135cm Barrel table with four Victoria folding armchairs four free cushions and a patio heater. This attractive table and chairs fold away for easy storage and the cushions included are machine washable. This set is made from FSC Parana Balau. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. Stylish dark green patio heater stands an impressive 220cm in height and gives out a very generous amount of heat (13.5kw) for those sometimes chilly British summer evenings. Base stand measures 44.5cm whilst the top reflector unit measures 81cm giving a wide and even displacement of the heat generated. Comprehensive assembly instructions are included with a seven step pictorial guide. Runs on Calor or Patio bottled gas which is widely available.
• Rainbow Picnic Set - This is a great set for you and your friends to enjoy a party in the park on a barbeque on the beach. This bright and cheery set is designed for eight people and comes with colourful plastic knives forks spoons beakers bowls and plates all contained within a really funky carrying box.
• Massage Bottle And Lotion - I don’t think The Police had this item in mind when they wrote the hit song ”Massage in a bottle”. Eh what do you mean it's spelt differently?! This soft and sensual sour apple lotion comes in this rather handy massage bottle which is curved to fit into your hand and features raised rubbing bumps to make this the ultimate massage kit.
• Snow Streaker Sledge - Why should the kids have all the fun this year when you’re on your winter holidays? The snow streaker has been specifically designed for two adults to enjoy a little alpine fun! With four heavy duty handles permanently attached and double welded seams on the heavy duty vinyl construction you’ll soon be enjoying some top quality sledging action!
• Men On Top Joke Book - Bernard Manning eat your heart! This Men on Top book of jokes is seriously tasteless. ”What do you get when you offer a woman a penny for her thoughts? Change” I rest my case your honour.
• Girls On Boys Flip Book - I have to say that the majority of quotes or sayings in this book border on man hating and verbal abuse… that’s not to say that they’re not hilarious though! With little gems such as ”Save your breath (for your inflatable date)” and ”I make boys cry” you’re bound to find one that hits the spot.
• Coloured Light Champagne Flute - Great for parties and fun occasions this champagne flute features an illuminated base that at a push of a button glows green red or blue…or alternates between all three in true disco fashion! Dishwasher safe with base light section removed.
• Turquoise Glitter Time Alarm Clock - Fabulously funky Glitter time alarm clock will ensure you start the day on time and with a smile!
• Blue Glitter Time Alarm Clock - Fabulously funky Glitter time alarm clock will ensure you start the day on time and with a smile!
• Coloured Light Wine Goblet - Great for parties and fun occasions this wine goblet features an illuminated base that at a push of a button glows green red or blue…or alternates between all three in true disco fashion! Dishwasher safe with base light section removed.
• Remote Control Electric Fan - Wow now normally I wouldn't be able to raise even the slightest glimmer of interest in an electric fan but this one is so thoroughly stuffed with extras that it's really caught my attention. What could be better on a hot summer's day than relaxing in the comfort of your armchair whilst controlling this sixteen inch three speed fan with the remote control provided? Not only can you change the speed of the fan but you can also change the angle of the cooling grill and even set the timer for up to six hours of chilled out bliss. Now that is cool.
• Horny Devil Keyring - For all of you who enjoy dallying on the dark side this cheeky little devil key ring should be right up your street. This naughty little bear has practically got mischief written all over him!
• Prestige Roastmaster Carver Set - The Prestige Roastmaster is a premium non-stick deep roaster tray (38cm x 30cm x 5cm) which combines excellent value for money with outstanding quality. Carving set comes complete with a stainless steel fork and a stainless steel hollow ground fine edge knife blade with riveted POM handles for extra durability. Oven safe to 240C/475F/Gas mark 9 however this roaster is not suitable for use over direct heat or under grills.
• Woowoo Toilet Paper Dispenser - Taking novelty toilet paper dispensers to a whole new dimension the woowoo t-dog manages to look both cute and cuddly and strangely revolting all in the same breath. If you haven't got a dog than get this one as it even cleans up after itself!
• Bun In The Oven Blue T-shirt M/l - This high quality t-shirt is crafted from 100% baby soft cotton with a stretch factor of over 100% so that it'll grow with you! Available in cool pastel blue featuring a bold screen printed original design making this the perfect gift to give to someone you know or just for yourself after you've received the happy news! Only available in M/L size.
• Bun In The Oven Pink T-shirt M/l - This high quality t-shirt is crafted from 100% baby soft cotton with a stretch factor of over 100% so that it'll grow with you! Available in cool pastel pink featuring a bold screen printed original design making this the perfect gift to give to someone you know or just for yourself after you've received the happy news! Only available in M/L size.
• Cow Print Short Haul Suitcase - This distinctive hard-sided 25 inch cow print suitcase is produced to the highest standard from ABS plastic with a mirror finish and feature a horizontal handle and a lockable multi-position trolley handle system two Polyurethane wheels for silent rolling clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. Free Moooove over please that's my suitcase slogan with every purchase.
• Cow Print Long Haul Suitcase - This distinctive hard-sided 29 inch cow print suitcase is produced to the highest standard from ABS plastic with a mirror finish and feature a horizontal handle and a lockable multi-position trolley handle system two Polyurethane wheels for silent rolling clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. Free Moooove over please that's my suitcase slogan with every purchase.
• Ocean Clear Mirror - This high quality clear glass mirror measures 500mm high x 375mm wide and is the perfect match for the Ocean clear toilet seat.
• Obedience Love Ring - The obedience love ring comes complete (no pun intended) with a fully adjustable comfort pad for the scrotum and will help you to achieve a stronger firmer climax.
• Between The Sheets Game - Between the sheets is a game of strategy and foreplay where the object is to be the first player to reach the other side of the games course however in this game you might not reach the other side…then again you may not want to!
• Vibrating Strawberry Bath Sponge - Light some candles start a bath pour a glass of champagne and get the strawberries…the pulsa bath strawberry that is! This soft soakable sponge has a controllable vibration action that will rid you of tension and relax your aching muscles. The perfect accessory for the bath shower or any wet environment!
• Erotic Boobie Candles - Now the text on the box says that these Erotic Boobie candles will ”create the most sensual and seductive lighting effect for that intimate dining experience” Personally I’d probably leave them in the box until at least the second date as your potential partner may start to worry about you.
• Kama Sutra Game - The makers of this game have interpreted the legendary Karma Sutra that has been a guide to lovers of all ages for thousand of years and made it into an interactive game experience. The game offers lovers the opportunity to explore the sensual and sexual aspects of their body mind and spirit on a journey to experience ecstasy.
• Nurses Outfit Size 42 - Ohhh Matron I think its time for my sponge bath again! I wouldn’t mind being ill if I had a girl wearing this cheeky little outfit to nurse me back to health.
• Nurses Outfit Size 38 - Ohhh Matron I think its time for my sponge bath again! I wouldn’t mind being ill if I had a girl wearing this cheeky little outfit to nurse me back to health.
• Nurses Outfit Size 36 - Ohhh Matron I think its time for my sponge bath again! I wouldn’t mind being ill if I had a girl wearing this cheeky little outfit to nurse me back to health.
• Magnetic Backgammon - Goplay™ is the stylish travel range for kids and the young at heart. The game is packaged in convenient travel-sized branded metal box. Colourful fun and eye-catching this game will entice both young players and bewildered parents desperately searching for the perfect distraction for travelling kids.
• Singing Dog Backtalker - This incredible cute singing dog backpack features an animated mouth that actually moves in perfect sync with the ’I’m a dog…’ song. Includes adjustable shoulder straps and carrying handle along with a cleanable zippered compartment area ideal for carrying schoolwork clothing and snacks.
• Singing Cow Backtalker - This incredible cute singing cow backpack features an animated mouth that actually moves in perfect sync with the ’I’m a cow…’ song. Includes adjustable shoulder straps and carrying handle along with a cleanable zippered compartment area ideal for carrying schoolwork clothing and snacks.
• Reindeer Doo Doos - Question: What did Rudolph say to his wife whilst they were watching the weather forecast? Answer: ”Looks like rein-deer”. Abysmal jokes aside if the prospect of chowing down on animal excrement floats your boat than these freshly made milk chocolate reindeer doo doos are definitely for you. Box contains milk chocolate raisins.
• Land Rover Defender Radio Control - This really is a fantastic piece of kit that’s been keeping all the guys in the office occupied for hours. Now most radio control cars available do the basics of forward reverse and change of direction which is a bit boring when you compare it to this bad boy Defender that has working headlamps indicators automatic opening and closing doors operated via the hand controller and also features realistic sounds such as engine noise horn and the sound of the doors closing. Couple that with super torque four wheel drive and a two speed gearbox for hill climbing or high speed road running and you’ve got an excellent radio controlled Land Rover! Approximate dimensions: 15 inches in length 8 inches high 7 inches wide.
• K9 Overnight Bag - K9 Overnight Bag for when your friend goes to stay with his mates or more realistically for when you escape to the sunshine and leave him with the neighbours. Comes complete with a non-splash drinking bowl rubber ball pack of doggy chews and the all important thank you for looking after me card. All supplied in a neat little draw string carry bag.
• Ocean Clear Toilet Seat - Don’t be shellfish why not spruce up everyone’s favourite seat in the house and add an aquatic touch to your bathroom by fitting the ocean clear toilet seat!
• Designer Dog Bone Bowl In Blue - Probably the coolest dog bowl in the world. Made from highly durable polyresin this bowl is extremely stylish and extremely heavy so you won’t have the age old problem of your dog chasing the bowl round the kitchen at dinner time.
• Designer Dog Bone Bowl In Pink - Probably the coolest dog bowl in the world. Made from highly durable polyresin this bowl is extremely stylish and extremely heavy so you won’t have the age old problem of your dog chasing the bowl round the kitchen at dinner time.
• Designer Cat Fish Bowl In Pink - A stylish and colourful alternative to the usual cat food bowls this one is made from highly durable polyresin and is sure to make your feline friend the Topcat of your neighbourhood.
• Ear-otica Cd One Gift Bag - Ear-otica One features a compilation of 5 explicit erotic stories and 5 erotic poems plus an introduction in how you can relax and create a sensual atmosphere. Each story on the CD is read by a different male voice against a backdrop of ’mood’ music specially composed for each CD. The poems are read by both male and female voices. Each CD comes to you in unique packaging from Rich Sensations with a complimentory rose quartz crystal to bring sensuality self-love and healing plus a 2 inch incense cone to help you create the perfect atmosphere.
• Race Horse Shares - Who says owning a racehorse is strictly for rich and famous rock stars and celebrities? The Alternative Gift Company has teamed up with City Racing Club to offer a truly unique opportunity to own a share of a racehorse!* As an owner your share certificate entitles you to free tickets to the races (subject to availability) with special access and privileges such as a photo opportunity with the horse trainer and the jockey. With dedicated phone line access and a private website area which is updated weekly with your horse’s training reports racing news and race plan updates you’ll always be kept up to speed with how your horse is doing. A great gift idea for any racing enthusiast. The current horse on offer is 'Lady Predominant' who is from a high class racing family and has already won one race this year. Lady Predominant will be racing at many courses around the country in 2004. *Limited number of shares available per racehorse
• Electric Cash Register - ”Thank you come again!” Now you too can be the cashier of your very own kwiki-mart with this fantastic electronic scanning register. Press the on/ac button to calculate speak into the microphone and scan with a realistic ”blip” sound.
• 20 Inch Trolley Case - Brilliantly designed trolley case produced in hard wearing mirror finish black ABS plastic with silent smooth running wheels and a telescopic locking trolley handle. Fully lined with a divider/hanger and removable combination padlock.
• 8 Ball Lighter - If you’re a hot shot on the pool table than this 8 ball lighter is definitely for you! Measuring 5.6cm x 5.6cm this cleverly disguised lighter takes standard lighter gas and is bound to impress your mates the next time you challenge them to a game down your local pub. Simply finish the game by potting the black and then miraculously produce the same looking eight ball to light you’re cigarette!
• 15 Inch Silver Vanity Case - This beautifully produced 15” vanity case comes in a hard wearing mirror finish silver ABS plastic and has a detachable shoulder strap for comfortable transportation. The interior is fully lined and features plenty of handy storage compartments along with a removable washbag and mirror. Beauty products shown in the picture are for illustrative purposes only and are not included with the vanity case.
• Cheeky Chimp Jungle Print Cosmetic Bag - A super duper stylish cosmetic bag measuring approximately 14cmx9.5cm that’ll hold all your favourite bits and bananas!
• Cheeky Chimp Smiling Face Cosmetic Bag - A super duper stylish cosmetic bag measuring approximately 14cmx9.5cm that’ll hold all your favourite bits and bananas!
• Body Lotion Strangefruit - Natural Products Hand and Body Lotions are vegetable oil based and are enriched with sweet Almond Oil and Shea Nut Butter. They are non-oily and readily absorbed into the skin leaving it feeling naturally velvety.
• Bath And Shower Gel Vanilla - A genuine all over gel containing mild moisturising agents great for everyday use. Will leave your skin feeling clean and smooth.
• Handmade 4 Foot Stout Glass - When I first saw this beautifully produced hand made four foot stout glass I wasn’t sure whether I should drink from it or get my trunks on dive in and have a quick paddle around! It’s true what they say there’s nothing like having a little drink…and this is nothing like it! Whether you use this mammoth glass to hold 30 pints of your favourite tipple (!) or simply use it as a display vase or alternative goldfish tank it’s sure to be a big talking point in anyone’s house!
• Earth Globe Lamp - Projecting a slowly rotating image of the world the ’Earth Globe Lamp’ provides calm and soothing lighting for any room. Globe diameter measures 25.4cm or 10”.
• 3 Tubtime Bath Squirts - Another great gift idea for getting your kids to have fun in the tub! I never used to like bath time when I was a lad (too busy rolling around in the dirt and falling out of trees I guess) but with this set of three soft and brightly coloured bath squirts to play with bath time would have been the highlight of the week!
• Union Jack Lunch Box - This hard wearing metal lunch box sports the resplendent red white and blue of the British Union Jack. Measuring approximately 25.5cm x 18.5cm in size you too can carry your sandwiches with pride!
• Pacific 2 Seater Companion Bench - This Pacific 2 seater companion bench is constructed from a hardwood called Keruing which is of exceptional quality and is very durable. This particular product has a table in the centre for easy access from both seats and is easily assembled with a series of brass screws. Assembly time for this item is approximately 10 minutes. All our furniture is made from hardwood and is of a quality far superior to most products available. Dimensions: 1200w x 610d x 880h. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Just A Gesture Greetings Card Pad - Never be caught out again when you’ve forgotten an important event by snapping up a pad of ready made cards for all occasions! Have fun by simply joining the dots for the appropriate celebration and tick the persons name from the list inside. An essential survival product for the terminally lazy and forgetful people (that’ll be me then!) that we all become every now and then.
• Rose Wood Set - Table Bench And 2 Chairs - This beautiful Rosewood Bench set includes 2 single seat chairs a 2/3 seater bench and an accompanying low level table. It is constructed from Nyatah which is a very durable hardwood from the forests of Asia. All items come individually packed and assembly time for each product is approximately 5 minutes. There are a set of 6 brass bolts to assemble each piece. All our furniture is made from hardwood and is of a quality far superior to most products available. Dimensions: Table 600w x 900d x 550h: Bench 1280w x 545d x 805h Chair 700h x 545d x 805h.
• Pagoda Bench Set - Table Bench And 2 Chairs - This Pagoda bench set is manufactured from a hardwood called Keruing. The complete set comes with 2 benches which seat 2/3 people and 2 single seater chairs. The assembly process is extremely simple and takes no longer than 60 minutes to do the complete set. Once assembled the chairs and benches are extremely sturdy and will withstand some heavy duty wear and tear along with the weather. All our furniture is made from hardwood and is of a quality far superior to most products available. Dimensions: Table 1500w x 1000d x 740h Bench 1200w x 620d x 990h Chair 590w x 620d x 990h. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Wave Patio Set - Table Bench And 2 Chairs - Aluminium and Glass patio/conservatory set. This 4 piece set is unbelievably comfortable to sit in and has adjustment on the arms of the chairs to enable the back to be adjusted to suit the individual. Although the seats look like bamboo or wicker they are actually made from a plastic so as to withstand wear and tear. The added advantage is that they are also totally weatherproof so if left out they will not shrink tarnish or discolour. The table is covered with a toughened glass to make cleaning as easy as possible. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Oceanic Extending Table And 6 Chairs - Made from the extremely durable hardwood Keruing this extending table and chair set is surely big enough to cope with the largest of Barbecues or outdoor parties. The whole set can be assembled in under an hour. The chairs have a series of 6 Brass bolts to insert through the arms. Once assembled both the chairs and the table are extremely durable and sturdy. The chairs also neatly stack together once assembled so as to save space for winter storage. All our furniture is made from hardwood and is of a quality far superior to most products available.
• Bordeaux Sets - Table And 4 Chairs - This set includes an Aluminium framed table and chair set. The glass in the top of the Table is toughened for safety and durability purposes. The seats have a plastic rush effect on them which means they will not stain or become tarnished if left out in poor weather. The arms of the chairs are covered with Teak for a nice elegant look and comfortable feel. The chairs are extremely light in construction but very durable and strong. Altogether this set is extremely striking and practical at the same time. Definitely suitable for both outdoor and indoor use.
• Green Outdoor Parasol - This parasol is made from Keruing hardwood to match all the furniture and has a pulley cord for raising or lowering the shade. Heavy duty material is used for the shade to eliminate as many of the suns rays as possible.
• Four Piece Kids Patio Set - 4 piece kiddies patio set which includes 2 folding chairs a table and an umbrella. Very colourful practical and extremely good value for money.
• Kids Zoo Bench - Children’s Zoo bench manufactured from Oak and iron. Very durable and can assembled in a matter of minutes. Ideal for use both outdoors and indoors.
• Trio Vase - With its striking use of a trio of vibrant colours this hand finished vase stands some 30cm in height and is hand made at the world’s largest hand blown glass factory in Krosno Poland. With over a centuries experience in fine glass making each vase is carefully crafted hand finished and completely unique.
• Swinging Monkeez - Keep yourself amused for hours and go bananas with this laughing swinging monkey. Hang it in the office set it to the motion sensor and sit back and watch in amazement as your work colleagues fall around laughing. This crazy monkey screams with laughter and kicks his legs with excitement as soon as someone comes close. Your new low maintenance pet has been passed through quarantine and will just require a quick grooming before he/she is hung in prime position. No feeding necessary!! It comes with a hook and suction cup. Please note that colours may vary. AS SEEN ON TV!! 3 AA Batteries included. To hear this product in action use the player below.
• Limbo - Take on family and friends with the party game of Limbo. Loosen up and limbo down as low as you can go. Keep lowering the beam until only the most bendy person – the winner is left. Contains two wooden upright poles five foot six inches tall with staged slots cross beams which are also five foot six inches long and two sets of feet for the upright poles.
• Sack Race - Players can re-live school days racing in these new and specially designed adult sized potato sacks. Each of the five sacks is brightly coloured and named for added rivalry: Fireball Dozy Fever Wired and Mad Dog! Each sack is made from the highest quality jute material and measures 45 inches high and 30 inches wide so that it fits adults and children allowing racing fun for all the family.
• Beach Mat - This is a self-opening beach mat that redefines style and function for beach accessories. The patented design opens instantly from a compact 19” disc to a generous 65” X 38” oval providing a soft clean flat surface for relaxing in the sun. Unlike its predecessors this self-opening beach mat keeps sun seekers dry and comfortable with a water resistant polyester backer and a built-in inflatable pillow.
• Electric Shock Lighter - Guaranteed to drive your friends and family stark staring mad as they reach for your new and stylishly designed lighter only to get a harmless electric shock when they press the top! Perfect payback for anyone that tries to steal your lighter when you’re in the pub simply leave it on the table sit back and hear them yelp in surprise when they get zapped!
• Cirro Vase - Featuring a four sided etched circular design this impressive looking Soda glass vase stands 22cm in height and has the Cirrus cloud Cirrostratus pattern sandblasted onto the hand made vase at the world’s largest hand blown glass making factory in Krosno Poland which boasts over a centuries experience in fine glass making.
• Black And White Vase - Using an elegant yet minimalist design this black and white vase measures 16cm in height and is carefully hand made from Soda glass at the world’s largest hand blown glass making factory in Krosno Poland which boasts over a centuries experience in fine glass making.
• 6' Table Tennis With Folding Legs - Become the next Werner Schlager (current Table Tennis World Champion….no I didn’t know either until I looked it up) with this nifty six foot table tennis table featuring a folding leg system for easy storage. Constructed from highly durable 12mm mdf with a 3/8 inch apron the table comes complete with 2 balls 2 bats and a net and stands 72” x 36” x 28” once erected.
• Ultra 7 Rabbitronic - Introducing the Rampant Rabbit’s terminator twin…the Rabbitronic! New and improved technology takes the ’Rabbit’ to the next level giving you seven inches of pure purple pulsating pleasure with unmatched power and performance! Featuring an oscillating ultra soft jelly head six speed rotating bead shaft a ’rabbit vibe’ that has 7 modes along with glow in the dark controls and LED lights…this Rabbit is loaded with more extras than a family saloon car! Requires 4AA batteries (not included). P.S. also excellent for stirring soup directing traffic or choosing random lottery numbers.
• Alien Vibrations - It’s slowly dawning on me that I must have led a particularly sheltered life as when this product arrived on my desk I actually had to go and ask our buyer what this was and where it umm err went?! Despite my burning blushes of embarrassment I can’t really say that I fully understand even now…what I can tell you is that it’s made in a soft lavender jelly and vibrates wildly once you flick the switch on the discreet looking remote control unit. Two sets of small long life batteries are included.
• Day Bag - The Kelsyus™ Day Bag makes short trips simple and comfortable with a unique combination of style and functionality. This two in one design provides multiple internal and external storage compartments for apparel jewellery books wallets and other valuables. The nylon mesh exterior pouch comes equipped with an inflatable pillow and provides an ideal location for transporting sandy towels and wet clothing. Additional storage is provided for a can cozy that is included free of charge. This cozy storage ensures a cold debris free beverage that is easily accessible and separate from dry storage items. Constructed of fade and moisture resistant textured PVC this bag is prepared to take on a wide variety of indoor and outdoor journeys.
• Beauty And The Bear - It’s a well documented fact that men have a bad reputation for hogging the remote control so they can suit themselves while the lady in their life sits there trying not to look bored. Well thanks to the wonders of technology girls can get their own back by owning one of these brilliant remote controlled strap on teddy stimulators so they can please themselves whenever they like for as long as they like! It won’t change the TV channel but once you’ve secured the soft and sensual pink jelly teddy in place with the fully adjustable elasticated straps you probably won’t care less! The discreet miniature remote control unit hangs on a key fob and comes complete with smaller longer life batteries included.
• Ladies ’sex Please’ Sandprinters S/m - These boots were made for walking…and these flip flops are definitely made for talking! Why bother with the cheesy holiday romance chat up lines when you can clearly express your sexy intentions right there in the sand for everyone to see with this year’s perfect beach accessory the Sand Printer flip flop! Colour: Lime Green available in two sizes.
• Ladies ’love You’ Sandprinters S/m - These boots were made for walking…and these flip flops are definitely made for talking! Why bother with the cheesy holiday romance chat up lines when you can clearly express your sexy intentions right there in the sand for everyone to see with this year’s perfect beach accessory the Sand Printer flip flop! Colour: Sky Blue available in two sizes.
• Men’s ’shag Me’ Sandprinters Xl - These boots were made for walking…and these flip flops are definitely made for talking! Why bother with the cheesy holiday romance chat up lines when you can clearly express your downright horny intentions right there in the sand for everyone to see! Colour: Brown available in two sizes.
• Men’s ’sex Mad’ Sandprinters Xl - These boots were made for walking…and these flip flops are definitely made for talking! Why bother with the cheesy holiday romance chat up lines when you can clearly express your downright horny intentions right there in the sand for everyone to see! Colour: Black available in two sizes.
• Women Are From Venus - This book is a valuable guide for learning how to communicate with the woman in your life. Dr John Gray offers essential advice on how to develop a deeper and more loving relationship.
• Ladies ’love You’ Sandprinters M/l - These boots were made for walking…and these flip flops are definitely made for talking! Why bother with the cheesy holiday romance chat up lines when you can clearly express your sexy intentions right there in the sand for everyone to see with this year’s perfect beach accessory the Sand Printer flip flop! Colour: Sky Blue available in two sizes.
• Ladies ’make Love’ Sandprinters S/m - These boots were made for walking…and these flip flops are definitely made for talking! Why bother with the cheesy holiday romance chat up lines when you can clearly express your sexy intentions right there in the sand for everyone to see with this year’s perfect beach accessory the Sand Printer flip flop! Colour: Hot pink available in two sizes.
• Medium Black Handbag With White Stitching - Stylish black fashion handbag neat and compact has white stitching detail and the strap has the white stitch detail plus two metal hoops at either side. Comes with inside pocket. 11” x 5 ½”
• Medium Black Handbag With Large Stitching - Small black shoulder bag with scooped zip and large woven stitch detail on one side. Has inside pocket. 11” x 5 ½”
• Small Bowling Camouflage Handbag - A stylish camouflage bag in Khaki/Brown colours comes with small rolled handles in same colours and has an inside pocket. 9” x 5”
• Small Black Handbag With White Stitching - The perfect sized party bag this stylish black bag with white stitching detail and woven loop clasp will compliment any outfit and will easily hold your phone purse and lipstick! It has a short strap so that it fits nicely under your arm. 10” x 5”
• Small Zip Handbag With Striped Strap - Small light khaki purse bag. Has a four coloured woven striped strap with adjustable buckle perfect for the minimalist. 8” x 5”
• Single Sized Sand Free Beach Mat In Hot Pink - Apart from a six foot bronzed Adonis to help you apply your sun tan lotion this has to be the most stylish and practical companion for a perfect day on the beach. With a built in inflatable head cushion and handy drinks holders this hot pink single beach mat features inflatable sides to stop your beach towel looking like a sand dune by the end of the day.
• Double Sized Sand Free Beach Mat In Sleek Silver - Apart from a voluptuous baywatch beauty to help you apply your sun tan lotion this has to be the most stylish and practical companion for a perfect day on the beach. With built in inflatable head cushions and a pair of handy drinks holders this sleek silver double beach mat features inflatable sides to stop your beach towel looking like a sand dune by the end of the day.
• Incredible Hulk Large Rucksack - The jolly mean giant is back with a vengeance this summer which makes this brilliant Incredible Hulk rucksack really hot property! Featuring the angry face of Dr Bruce Banner when he’s in one of his legendary incredible sulk green cross modes this large sized backpack is sure to keep your stuff safe and secure as it’s unlikely that anyone will want to creep up on you whilst you’re wearing this on your back!
• Incredible Hulk Small Rucksack - The jolly mean giant is back with a vengeance this summer which makes this brilliant Incredible Hulk rucksack really hot property! Featuring the angry face of Dr Bruce Banner when he’s in one of his legendary incredible sulk green cross modes this small sized backpack is sure to keep your stuff safe and secure as it’s unlikely that anyone will want to creep up on you whilst you’re wearing this on your back!
• Embroided Casual Handbag - The perfect smart casual bag it is Khaki in colour and is in a silk effect material. As well as internal pockets it also has an exterior pocket for khaki coloured embroidered pattern with sequin details. It has a wide strong canvas strap with a slip buckle to adjust the length of the strap. 9 ½ x 7”
• Casual Shoulder Handbag With Twin Pockets - Khaki canvas bag comes with two studded external pockets including a keyring attachment and it also has in inside pocket. It has a tough wide handle with studded detail. 10” x 6”
• Large 20 Inch Fan - No need to get hot and bothered this summer as this wopping great twenty inch fan has to be the ultimate in cooling power making it ideal for large areas. In fact after taking one look at this monster in action I think we could have setup our own wind tunnel in the office as this whisper quiet lightweight three speed fan features a fully tiltable head for air direction control and huge amounts of cooling power!
• Two Person Picnic Backpack - This stylish picnic backpack has the contents to cater for two people. Comes complete with two plastic plates metal knives forks spoons two wine glasses chambray napkins corkscrew and wine cooler. It also features a separate large food compartment and an insulated detachable wine pouch making this is a great product for those of you who enjoy a romantic picnic with your loved one in the great outdoors.
• Foot Spa Pamper Kit - This relaxology foot spa pack contains:- foot gel 100ml foot rasp foot soak 400gm foot massager inflatable foot spa and synthetic exfoliator. Peppermint foot gel foot bath relaxing foot salt foot roller and exfoliating sponge. Our Foot Spa Pamper Pack has just be short listed for the New Women Beauty Awards. With every purchase of the Foot Spa Pamper Pack you will receive a FREE Peppermint & Lime Foot Wash.
• Eyezone Massager - Eyezone massager 3 in 1 therapy this massager is good for eye fatigue wrinkles bags and insomnia. This mask massages the temple and surrounding areas which helps remove tension by stimulating nerves around the eye reducing stresses within. Such stimulation improves micro-circulation activating and regulating the muscle fibres helping to increase resistance to eye diseases.
• Silver 'yours' Box - Lets suppose for a moment that it's possible to contain a world in a small silver box hidden from eyes of everyday people and known only to you. Where would you keep this treasure? Would you open if often? With whom would you share it? (2.1cm diameter 1.3cm high)
• Life's Charms Box - A collection of silver charms to accompany and inspire you on life's journey and a reminder that you are never alone whichever path you choose. Flower: inspiration. Key: empowerment. Shamrock: luck. Heart: love & friendship. Angel: protection. (Life's charms in a sterling silver box (2 x 2cm 1.4cm height).
• Amber Box - A box brimming with 30 million year old amber to inspire you. Carried since prehistory as a protective talisman valued by the Etruscans more highly than gold linked in Feng Shui with romance and relationships amber is the perfect (organic) gem to balance your mind and body. Place the open box beside your bed or carry a piece with you when you feel you need grounding. (4 x 4.5 x 1.25cm)
• Guardian Angels - Why travel through life with only one Guardian Angel when four can guard and protect you? These sterling silver cherubs can be worn in your hair attached to a love letter or given to a friend to share your good fortune. Please note the popper backs are not silver. (carded set 1.4cm high)
• Silver Night Sky Disc - The stuff of dreams. A solid silver disc or plaque engraved with the night sky and accompanied by a poem. ' The night sky for you...Lying on my back warm neck on cool grass. You out of the corner of my eye. Such worlds as two minds can make from a thousand lights above. Moonlight cool grass and all that lies ahead. (3cm diameter)
• Sleep Music Ball - Falling asleep is a ritual that we take years to perfect. It involves creating a state of complete mental and physical relaxation and then well just drifting off. Keep this engrave music ball by your bed and make it part of your ritual - shake it gently each night before closing your eyes. Sleep well. (2.6cm diameter + base)
• Oceanic Steamer Chair With Cushion - This stylish well made and extremely hard wearing Keruing hardwood steamer chair comes complete with polished brass fittings and features adjustable arms back and leg support with a leg rest extension to transform this luxurious item from a laid back chair into a bed. Easy to assemble all the tools you'll need to construct it are packaged with the chair. Included with the chair is an incredibly comfortable and well padded full length dark green and gold striped steamer cushion which features an adjustable head rest and removable hard wearing covers which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. Machine washable match and cigarette resistant. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Free Standing Hammock - The perfect accessory for those lazy summer days in the garden. This easy to assemble free standing hammock measures approximately eight foot in length and takes just seconds to piece together. Due to the clever design of this hammock you won't have to worry about tieing off both ends to trees or fences to secure your place in the sun as the inverted V frame simply supports itself. The hammock material is a hard wearing blue and cream striped canvas with an adjustable headrest whilst the frame is produced from metal tubing that has been treated to avoid signs of wear or rust.
• Bubble Bathtime Soap - Fresh fruitiness drifts among relaxing bubbles of woody floral notes.
• Blue Ice Wine Cooler - This colourful ice wine cooler keeps your bottle icy cold and ready to drink. Simply place the cooler upside down in the freezer compartment until its frozen solid and insert your favourite tipple for a really thirst quenching experience.
• White Shoulder Bag - White scooped shoulder bag with twin zipped pocket detailing.
• Fly Zapper - Forget the need for smelly aerosols and insect repellents this is the ultimate environmentally friendly insect zapper. Simple to use just hold down the button on the side of the grip (there is a green indicator light to warn you when it’s on) and zap away. When the insect comes in contact with the meshing it’s immediately electrocuted. Kills all kinds of insects – leaves no mess and no more smudges on the walls or rolled up newspapers! Fly zapper can be used just about everywhere making it ideal for swotting pesky insects whilst camping fishing barbeques or parties. Powered by 2xAA batteries (not supplied) Warning: This is not a toy. Keep away from young children and pets. Colour may vary.
• Incredible Hulk 40cm Plush Toy - The jolly mean giant is back with a vengeance this summer which makes this brilliant Incredible Hulk plush toy really hot property! This brilliantly detailed toy of Dr Bruce Banner in one of his legendary incredible sulk green cross modes features moveable arms and waist and stands over fifteen and a half inches tall.
• Ice Tankard - Keep your soft drinks or beer icy cold without dilution by simply placing the ice tankard upside down in the freezer compartment remove when frozen and fill with your favourite refreshment. Ideal for around the house patio or garden for the ultimate thirst quenching experience.
• K9 Heart Logo And Vet Tag - K9 Tags for your favourite Cat or Dog. Includes two tags one for your pets name and details and another for the contact details of your vet. These can be engraved at any engravers or your local pet store.
• K9 Union Jack Flag T-shirt - For the image conscious patriotic pooch about town why not try a Union flag T-Shirt which will not only look great but will also keep elderly or poorly dogs warm ease scratching protect body wounds and help to keep their coats clean.
• Magnetic Four In A Row - Goplay™ is the stylish travel range for kids and the young at heart. The game is packaged in convenient travel-sized branded metal box. Colourful fun and eye-catching this game will entice both young players and bewildered parents desperately searching for the perfect distraction for travelling kids.
• Magnetic Chess - Goplay™ is the stylish travel range for kids and the young at heart. The game is packaged in convenient travel-sized branded metal box. Colourful fun and eye-catching this game will entice both young players and bewildered parents desperately searching for the perfect distraction for travelling kids.
• Magnetic Solitare - Goplay™ is the stylish travel range for kids and the young at heart. The game is packaged in convenient travel-sized branded metal box. Colourful fun and eye-catching this game will entice both young players and bewildered parents desperately searching for the perfect distraction for travelling kids.
• Magnetic Snakes & Ladders - Goplay™ is the stylish travel range for kids and the young at heart. The game is packaged in convenient travel-sized branded metal box. Colourful fun and eye-catching this game will entice both young players and bewildered parents desperately searching for the perfect distraction for travelling kids.
• Porn Star Bear - From looking at the slogan on this cheeky little porn star bears t-shirt I think it'll look right at home on anyones bed preferably king sized with satin sheets of course!
• Sparkle Tattoo Gifts Sets - Forget stick-ons! Forget henna! Be different and take control with the only temporary tattoos that let you choose your colours and how long you keep them on. They’re totally safe and really easy to use. From crazy multi-coloured sparkling creations to cool all-black designs you can pick your tattoo colours to match your outfit or your mood! Each Freedom Gift Set contains three 75mm x 100mm sheets of stencils three Sparkle pens in Mocha Raspberry and Turquoise colours and five super-sparkling stick-on crystals.
• Harry Potter Wizard Chess Set - Harry Potter Chess set with inlay design board featuring nicely detailed figures including decent sized knights and bishops that stand approximately four inches in height. Suitable for ages 8+
• Razzle Dazzle Wand - Razzle Dazzle wand for children of 3 years and upwards. Just wave the wand to listen to the magical tune and turn mummy into a frog or daddy into David Beckham.
• Mega Bubble Gun - Battery operated Bubble Gun comes complete with bottle of solution for making the bubbles great fun for kids of all ages.
• Party Poppers X 3 - Pack of three spring operated Party poppers which shoot a stream of brightly coloured streamers and metallic confetti into the air.
• Black And Tan Leather Jacket Wallet - A classy black jacket wallet featuring a black and tan finish with money note slots and enough room for a picture and six credit or debit cards.
• Long Black Leather Purse - This elegant black leather purse is beautifully finished in red trim and black suede. There's enough room in this purse for your cheque book ten credit card slots a slot for a pen and three handy zip compartments.
• Dark Brown Leather Wallet - This stylish brown wallet has room for all your credit cards and has the added advantage of having a zip on the notes section.
• Dowgs Gigi Soft Toy - GiGi is a posh pet without the bills as she'll never need to be fed or taken out for walks on cold winter evenings! With pounds of personality she's the perfect accessory to any outfit and she doesn't malt! Made from unique new fabrics with awesome detailing from her collar to her toenails. 25 cm in size.
• Unisex Black And Tan Belt Purse - This black and tan soft leather purse will hold a multitude of things keys cards money compact mobile phone lipstick you name it if you cram it into your pockets normally on a Saturday night then this is the prefect accessory for getting rid of those bulges!!!
• Dark Brown And Tan Leather Purse - A dark brown soft leather purse with tan trim and enough room for ten of your favourite credit cards and space for money and stamps etc.
• Medium Red And Tan Purse - This medium sized red and tan soft leather purse has one side for your cards and one zipped side for your loose change.
• Stegasaurus Soft Toy - This colorful dino is made from highly textured fabrics for extra visual and tactile appeal. And what personality! This prehistoric pal will come to life in the hands of any youngster. If there is such a thing as a cuddly dinosaur then this has to be it! 25 cm in size.
• T-rex Soft Toy - This colorful dino is made from highly textured fabrics for extra visual and tactile appeal. And what personality! This prehistoric pal will come to life in the hands of any youngster. If there is such a thing as a cuddly dinosaur then this has to be it! 25 cm in size.
• Hour Glass Clock - A new and interesting spin on the traditional sand filled hour glass design this neat looking clock will be a welcome gift to anyone bored of looking at the now common place digital displays found in timepieces.
• Laundry Rug - Now this Laundry Rug is a must have for all households. It's a designer way of leaving the bedroom in a complete mess with a legitimate excuse! Simply throw your dirty laundry onto the rug then when it's time for washing simply pull the drawstrings and hey presto you've got a neat little bag with all your dirties in that can be carried over the shoulder to the washing machine. Then you can either wash the whole thing as it is or empty the contents into the washing machine. GENIUS! Laundry mat unfolded measures approximately one metre.
• Triceratops Soft Toy - This colorful dino is made from highly textured fabrics for extra visual and tactile appeal. And what personality! This prehistoric pal will come to life in the hands of any youngster. If there is such a thing as a cuddly dinosaur then this has to be it! 25 cm in size.
• Rivet Exchange Mobile Phone Holder - Introducing the world's first multi-functional clip system enabling you to seamlessly manage your mobile phone and personal handheld devices. A unique Micro-Fastening System utilising interchangeable alloy components allows you to secure your mobile phone or PDA handheld to your body your backpack bag or briefcase even the dashboard of your car ensuring that you stay connected as you navigate the staggering range of environments and situations encountered in daily life.
• Hangover Helper - Did that ’one swift pint down the local’ turn into a full blown drinking session that Oliver Reed would be proud of? Then you'll certainly welcome the Hangover Helper for easing the pain of the horrible morning after headache. Simply fill the bag with ice and carefully rest it on the place that hurts the most for instant relief from the ravages of the demon drink.
• Bar Compass - The coolest bar assistant in the world could now be yours with all the information on drink recipes quantities and ingredients listed at your finger tips on this stylish Bar Compass. Simply turn the dial to your favourite tipple and hey presto clear and concise instructions as to what to do even down to whether the drink is shaken or stirred after all we wouldn't want to upset 007 would we!
• No Entry Poster - A simple yet clever spoof on the typical roadside sign this poster measuring 33.8 inches by 24 inches features a stick couple playing twister or perhaps the poor girl has lost a contact lens and he's helping her find it? Perhaps not but I feel sure you get the picture.
• Pop Idol Talent Box - For every boy or girl who longs to become a performing sensation the Pop Idol Talentbox includes everything you'll need to experience what it's like to be a top Pop Idol. The software features a completely interactive PC recording studio that allows you to record songs with the microphone included and edit them with special mixing effects then you can submit your track via the web to appear in the national Pop Idol Talentbox charts and be judged by your peers. Music tracks included are ten fantastic chart hits with full lyrics displayed for you to sing along to plus two instrumental tracks and a special bonus tracks of Evergreen performed by Will Young!
• Beyblade Poster - Following on the grand tradition of all things animated and slightly bizarre to come from the land of the rising sun is the latest craze to hit the streets Beyblades. Now I'd love to able to sit here and explain to you exactly what Beyblades and the associated characters are all about but I can honestly say that I haven't got a single clue?! Although from looking at this incredibly detailed and colourful poster measuring 33.8 inches by 24 inches that it all looks a lot of fun!
• Jennifer Lopez Poster - Massive poster of the now infamous J-Lo stands over five feet in height (exact measurement is 62 inches by 21 inches) and features the one woman marketing machine that is Jennifer Lopez. Hugely successful in the world of music and film Jennifer has now branched out into the world of fashion and cosmetics amongst other things. Putting all of that aside theres no denying that she's incredibly attractive and has one of the most publicised derrières in the world today.
• Organiser With Keyboard - This must have personal assistant comes with 1MB of memory and displays a six line screen with 60 x 50 pixels. This pocket organizer offers all the essential functions of a true personal assistant; a calendar a diary a to do list a directory with names addresses telephone numbers fax numbers and e-mail addresses a memo a local and world clock an alarm and a calculator. And as if that wasn't enough you get a Euro convertor with eleven integrated fixed rates. To ensure that all your information is kept secure you can also set up a secret code. The kit comes complete with PC synchronisation kit which includes SyncMan software and a cable. The SyncMan interface is compatible with windows 95/98/2000/NT/XP Microsoft Outlook and Lotus Notes.
• Che Guevara Poster - Ernesto Che Guevara became one of the worlds most easily recognisable rebels against authority due to his pursuit of change and equality for Cuban people during the Revolution of 1956 to 1959. His determination and courage has made him into an widely used icon for all firebrands to look up to and is featured in this striking and enormous poster which stands over five feet in height (exact measurement is 62 inches by 21 inches).
• Jeckyl Figurine - We all know someone like this usually on a Monday morning before the caffeine rush has hit home and they become 'bearable' again.
• Nursie Figurine - I don't even want to think about where Nursie wants to stick that Vaseline coated finger (shudder). Lets just hope she rewards the unlucky patient with a stimulating bed bath afterwards.
• Multimedia Dictionary - This multi media electronic encyclopedia dictionary comes with stereo sound and 1000 images and 1000 pronounced words. 1000 000+ database with over 18 000 encyclopedia entries. PC connection SD optional card to update multi-media contents.
• Football Remote Control - This soft football remote control is fun for both children and adults. Control TV programmes by using buttons on the football panels. The controls include an on/off channel -/+ and volume up and down as well as a mute control. Contains pre-programmed codes for most modern TV sets for easy set up. IR sender on reverse of football for accurate signal transmission. Requires 2 x AA batteries.
• Organiser With Sim Card Reader - This fantastic organiser with SIM card reader comes with a tablet PC SIM card reader PDA and has a memory of 8Mb. The complete organiser comes with a personal diary a telephone directory notes with drawing function a task list and a memo function. Thanks to its dedicated port the tablet PC can read or save telephone numbers from mobile phone SIM cards. You can safeguard and manage your data in the diary directory and transfer telephone numbers in the SIM card from the phone to the tablet PC. Very importantly the organiser includes numerous games with quality graphics with the ability to download new ones. You can also download and display electronic books available on the virtual office at my.lexibook.com. PC synchronisation is included with SyncMan 2 software. Features includes large 160 x 160 pixel liquid crystal display alphabetical handwriting recognition on touch screen four programmable shortcut keys and scroller (navigation roller) to easily navigate through the menus a twelve digit calculator weight and measurement converters currency conversion clock time zones and alarm.
• Horny Devil Figurine - For all of you who enjoy dallying on the dark side this cheeky little devil figurine should be right up your street. This naughty little bear has practically got mischief written all over him!
• Johnny Figurine - Johnny is a very safe and sociable young bear as he's always got his Mates around when things could other wise get a little sticky!
• Cameron Figurine - Now that's what I call a zoom lens! Word of warning though you might want to close your eyes when his flash goes off.
• Joy Figurine - Haa! It's no wonder that the housework takes so long to be done when you use a Hoover like that! The appropriately named Joy figurine looks like she's investigating whether her new vacuum cleaner will get into all those tight spots that the old one missed.
• Zippy Figurine - Zippy here looks like he's made a bit of a bungle whilst dressing this morning. Ooh you can almost feel the pain!
• Angus Figurine - A true Scotsman if ever I saw one always blowing their own trumpet and making far too much noise. I just hope that he makes sure that the pipe is clean before it goes in his mouth though!
• Arran Figurine - Oops looks like Arran is a little accident prone today and is taking a brief 'paws' before he hops off to find the needle and thread.
• John Smith Figurine - A great bear for all the die hard beer drinkers out there. You would've thought he'd look a little happier with a pint in his paw maybe the beer belly isn't helping him with the ladies?
• Three Piece Cow Print Luggage Set - Stand out from the crowd with this udderly marvelous herd of suitcases featuring the long haul 29 inch suitcase short haul 25 inch suitcase and finally the weekender 20 inch suitcase which is the adorably baby heifer of the herd. These distinctive hard-sided cow print suitcases are produced to the highest standard from ABS plastic with a mirror finish and feature a horizontal handle and a lockable multi-position trolley handle system two Polyurethane wheels for silent rolling clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. Free Moooove over please that's my suitcase slogan with every purchase.
• Cow Print Weekender Suitcase - This distinctive hard-sided 20 inch cow print suitcase is produced to the highest standard from ABS plastic with a mirror finish and feature a horizontal handle and a lockable multi-position trolley handle system two Polyurethane wheels for silent rolling clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. Free Moooove over please that's my suitcase slogan with every purchase.
• Willy 7 Inch Plush Bear - It's not big but it's certainly very funny! Willy is being a flash harry again by wiping off his black mackintosh and exposing his trouser trumpet for all to see. Approximate size 7 inches....that's the size of the bear not his tackle just in case you were getting your hopes up love!
• Roger 7 Inch Plush Bear - The old expression 'It takes two to tango' is almost appropriate for Roger and his inflatable partner although I have a feeling that the only dancing these two will get up to is the horizontal kind! Sort of brings a whole new meaning to your partner going down on you though. Approximate size 7 inches.
• Horny 7 Inch Plush Bear - For all of you who enjoy dallying on the dark side this cheeky little devil plush toy should be right up your street. This naughty little bear has practically got mischief written all over him! Having said that Satan's little helper looks more like Gordon the Gopher in this picture?! Approximate size 7 inches.
• Jack Keyring - Jack and his beanstalk certainly seem to be rising to the occasion. Lets hope he doesn't branch out in a different direction! Sorry I should probably leaf that last comment out because I'm starting to bark up the wrong tree and drive myself conkers.
• Roger Keyring - The old expression 'It takes two to tango' is almost appropriate for Roger and his inflatable partner although I have a feeling that the only dancing these two will get up to is the horizontal kind! Sort of brings a whole new meaning to your partner going down on you though.
• The Evil Liver Mug - This good quality mug presented in a matching gift box says it all really...well that's my excuse for drinking my wages away each week and I'm sticking to it!
• Sex Object Mug - This one was definitely made for me in fact I think they'd have to make a new one with the slogan 'when I ask for sex women don't just object they try to slap me as well'. Maybe my technique needs brushing up. Good quality mug presented in a matching gift box.
• Stress Relief Mug - Wow not only is this a good quality mug presented in a matching gift box it's also kind of educational looking at all the 'stress relief' positions this naughty little couple get up to on the side!
• That Would Explain It Mug - One for the ladies out there who constantly gripe about salary differences due to gender inequalities whilst gossiping for half the day on their regular morning tea break over lunch and of course again when they have their three o'clock brew. Another slice of cake dear or would you rather get a decent days work done for once? Good quality mug presented in a matching gift box which also doubles up as something weighty to throw at chauvinistic men that simply won't listen anymore.
• Bongeye Turtley Wasted Stash Pot - With his blood shot eyes and lethargic movement it looks like this little fella is turtley wasted! Designed for the image concious home toker to store the pot not potpourri in.
• Rechargable Fm Radio - This stylish chrome effect rechargeable FM radio is not only lightweight and credit card sized but also features a handy docking station with storage for the ear phones which come included in the pack. Recharges using batteries or adaptor (not included).
• Outdoor Mug - Practical yet stylish this mug was designed for the great outdoors to help keep your favourite brew piping hot.
• Sliding Travel Alarm - This stylish chrome effect travel alarm with it's easy to read silver hands on a dark blue background is the perfect size for any bedside cabinet and neatly slides away to protect the surface when it's time to leave.
• Metal Torch - This robust and stylish metal torch comes complete with a handy wrist strap and features an ultra powerful light with an adjustable head for concentrated or wide spread beam. Requires one AA battery (not included).
• Away Supporters Kit - Neat looking AM/FM radio supplied with stereo earphones and a pack of playing cards all decorated in the white and red of St George's flag.
• Golf Kit - An essential tool for all golfers featuring an electronic silver gadget and an invaluable silver pen knife and brush thingymebob.
• Stay Safe Jogging Kit - Keep safe whilst out jogging with this simple kit which includes a digital pedometer reflector and a high visibility reflective waist/shoulder band for night safety.
• Heated Ice Scraper - A great idea that will definitely be welcomed by any driver when the chill of winter is in full affect and the cars windscreen is yet again covered in frost and ice. Don't scrabble around looking for old store or credit cards to try and hack the ice off simply plug the supplied cord into your cigarette lighter and enjoy a clear screen in seconds.
• Pen Knife - A modern approach to the trusty Swiss army knife of old. With so many invaluable little tools included you'll wonder how you survived without one for so long!
• Moe's Bar Cheers Wall Clock - This stylish chrome effect Simpsons wall clock is a must have accessory for all Simpsons fans batchelor pads and features an illuminated Duff sign and the sound of Homer and Barney clanking their tankards together to celebrate another toast every hour. Measures approximate 30cm in diameter and requires five AA batteries.
• Addictionary Game - Addictionary the worlds most addictive word game! One player makes a word. The next player creates a new word by changing letters or adding letters to the previous word. The skill is in the scoring and the whole game can change in a twist! Players 2-6. Ages 8 onwards.
• Charades For Kids - The classic game of charades especially designed for kids to play and enjoy. The younger children can have fun looking at the pictures whilst acting out subjects such as lions dogs and cats whilst the older children act out fun things such as eating spaghetti doing up your shoelaces...either way it's great fun as the whole family try to guess before the egg timer runs out! Three or more player for ages four and up.
• Heave A Beaver Dog Toy - This heave a beaver ring toy has been thoughtfully designed for loads of doggy fun. They fly are soft and flexible and by nature encourage aerobic scampering by dogs and their humans. Throw it catch it retrieve it the perfect game! What pup can resist a low-flying beaver? This perky little cracker is the ultimate gift for every frustrated beaver chaser. 9 inch diameter.
• Chuck A Duck Dog Toy - This chuck a duck ring toy has been thoughtfully designed for loads of doggy fun. They fly are soft and flexible and by nature encourage aerobic scampering by dogs and their humans. Throw it catch it retrieve it the perfect game! What pup can resist a low-flying duck? This perky little cracker is the ultimate gift for every frustrated duck chaser. 9 inch diameter.
• Smiley Lips For Dogs - Finally a dog toy that doesn't under estimate your dog's creative side. Remember those big red wax lips that you wore when you were a kid? A guaranteed laugh - they were sure to shock old Aunt Eunice each and everytime. Here's your chance to let your dog in on the fun (with NO wax build-up!) Don't forget these are for your dog. Rustle up some wax lips for your own and play like a dog!
• Electric Shock Roulette Game - What better way to decide who gets the next round in or who has to phone up for the takeaway then this shockingly good roulette game. Two three or four players can each put a finger into one of the numbered holes hit the start button and sit back and wait in fear and trepidation for the lights to stop flashing and the sound of the roulette ball to finally come to rest before one of you falls victim to a harmless yet hair raising zap of electricity!
• Fishing Tackle Organiser - This twenty six compartment carry all features five re-stackable lidded trays - each neatly divided into five sections to hold hooks sinkers bobs and more. Plus it has a central storage column for floats and larger items. Made in rugged easy clean plastic. Starter tackle set included.
• Pop Up Putting Cup - Talking pop up putting cup. Every time you sink a putt the feisty golf gopher pops up with encouraging one liners to make practice fun!! Comes with automatic ball return and regulation putting cup. On/off sound switch. Two 'C' batteries required.
• Retractable Pet Leash With Reflector Torch And Radio - This rugged 12 inch retractable leash features stepped-up security measures including lock-in positioning to control your dog's range reflective patches to alert on coming traffic and a wide beam flashlight to illuminate dark streets paths and alleys. Plus a full-function AM/FM radio so you can enjoy your favourite station as you walk. For dogs up to 100lbs. Comfortable ergonomically styled handle with titanium finish. Requires two 'AA' batteries.
• Crawling Arm - This severed arm looks creepy enough just laying there but make a loud noise and it will start to crawl across the room. For the most fun hide it behind the sofa while watching a scary movie with your girlfriend. When the moment is right just tap your foot and wait for the screams as it starts to crawl past.
• Friday Afternoon Hammer - The Friday afternoon hammer. A must have office accessory if ever I saw one you can either crack open a few bottles at lunch time or if you've forgotten the beer then just whack yourself over the head with the other side of the hammer it'll give you the same effect!
• Dirty Jokemaster - Famous worldwide for his raunchy and hilarious humour Jackie The Joke Man Martling is a well-known American radio personality stand-up comedian and comedy writer and he's put more than 1 100 of his funniest and filthiest jokes and insults onto this great Dirty Joke Machine so that you can carry them with you and have great dirty jokes wherever you go! This easy to use gadget allows you to select jokes by category and rate them by your audiences reaction. Please be aware that this product is strictly for adults as some jokes may offend the easily shocked!
• Travel Pet Food Carrier - Two serving bowls nest on top and bottom to hold food and water. Space-saving accordion design flattens for compact storage. Ideal for motoring camping hiking or the beach. Reusable easy to clean plastic construction with convenient carrying handle.
• Pilates Abs Excerciser - The exerciser creates stronger abs in minutes a day! Locks your legs in place enhancing your abs workout by controlling range of motion. The Exerciser makes it easy to isolate and tone upper and lower abs fast - with no assistance necessary to hold feet! Easy to learn easy to use... begin with three minutes a day. Adjustable strap fits all heights. Great for all fitness levels.
• Pilates All In One Gym In A Tote - Versatile compact and affordable the Gym In A Tote really has everything you need: two lengths of resistance tubing for strength training a door anchor for versatility an ankle cuff to work upper and lower body foam covered handles for comfort...all in an easy to carry mesh travel tote!
• Calorie Counting Jump Rope - Watch the calories burn as you jump. Keep track of turns workout time and calorie consumption. Jump your way to a slimmer body. Just set your workout time and begin jumping. Calorie counter and time starts automatically. When you stop jumping display will show how many calories you have burned. Lightweight: take it anywhere.
• Hollywood Doormat - Doorsteps will never be boring again with these fun doormats. Made with 100% coconut fibre with a rubber base and printed with durable inks to withstand heavy traffic this funky doormat measures 75cm x 45cm in size.
• Cat Inside Doormat - Doorsteps will never be boring again with these fun doormats. Made with 100% coconut fibre with a rubber base and printed with durable inks to withstand heavy traffic this funky doormat measures 75cm x 45cm in size.
• Leopard Doormat - Doorsteps will never be boring again with these fun doormats. Made with 100% coconut fibre with a rubber base and printed with durable inks to withstand heavy traffic this funky doormat measures 75cm x 45cm in size.
• Pistol Shaped Ceramic Vase - Guns and Roses eh strange combination but I bet it'd make a great name for an American rock band or in this case a rather unique wall mountable vase. Simply fill with water and drop the flower into the barrel! Wall mount with fixings supplied.
• Selector Mug - Another office essential that will ensure that whoever's turn it is to make the drinks they'll always get it right for you! Simply twist the stainless steel rings on this cream coloured ceramic mug to reveal your choice of drink and your milk and sugar preferences!
• Talking Security Cam - It's almost a shame that this realistic looking security camera isn't a fully working cctv camera as the look on peoples faces when this thing goes off would be well worth keeping! As soon as the built in motion detector picks up any activity in the room an alarm sounds and several verbal warnings such as Intruder alert! Leave the room immediately! start booming out whilst the camera pans round on it's motorised turret with the LED light flashing. Cracking piece of kit that makes you feel instantly guilty of doing something wrong even when you're just standing there minding your own business! To hear this product in action use the player below.
• Bathroom Tile Radio - This MW/FM tile shaped splash proof radio is the ideal water resistant bathroom companion. Supplied with three Interchangeable 3d push button on/off design front panels and bath tap style volume control and station tuning with a slide switch for band selection. Can be fixed to tiles or mirrors using four suction cups or will free stand or hang as a picture. Powered by 3 x AA batteries (not supplied). Dimensions: approximately 150w x 150l x 60d mm.
• Solar System Stoneware Mug - This collectable mug 'n' a half is sure to compliment any mug tree but will it fit?! Beautifully produced fine stoneware from Dunoon located in the highlands of Scotland.
• Phobias Stoneware Mug - This collectable mug 'n' a half is sure to compliment any mug tree but will it fit?! Beautifully produced fine stoneware from Dunoon located in the highlands of Scotland.
• Expanding Willie Sponge - The expanding willie sponge. Simply thrust him into water and watch him grow! Expands to 20mm.
• Willie Hot Water Bottle - The ultimate willy warmer but beware used in excess this may cause burns! If your loved one is away then this is the perfect replacement to keep you warm at night.
• Dickie Bow - Never leave home without one. The perfect dickie bow for the well dressed willie! Brings a whole new meaning to a black tie dress code.
• Super Stud Willy Warmer - Super Stud willie warmer the perfect accessory for your trouser trumpet. Warning: please read the washing instructions carefully your willie warmer has been designed to match your member. Accordingly a gently hand job in warm water will bring satisfaction. Do not tumble dry and never wring dry while wearing .
• Trouser Snake Willy Warmer - Trouser snake willie warmer the perfect accessory for your trouser trumpet. Warning: please read the washing instructions carefully your willie warmer has been designed to match your member. Accordingly a gently hand job in warm water will bring satisfaction. Do not tumble dry and never wring dry while wearing .
• Bollox Gob Stoppers - A hairy hessian sack containing a pair of enormous gob stopper bollox surely these are big enough to make anyone speechless?
• Dunking Dickie Biscuits - Perfect for the office fourteen dunking dickie willie shaped biscuits come in an attractive tin with tips on the back for the best way to dunk your dickie!
• Digital Flip Clock - This modern yet retro styled chrome digital flip clock makes a refreshing change from the standard boring round items usually seen. Powered by 1 x D battery not supplied. Dimensions: approximately 170h x 210w x base diameter 102mm.
• Tower Of Power - With a programmable CD player remote control and a built-in FM radio the mighty Tower of Power music system is finished in high tech silver and features a high powered 10 watt amplifier which feeds the unique surround sound diffusion speaker system. To set the funky scene the lower tube is filled with random flashing LED's to help you create disco fever in your own living room! Powered by 230v AC mains. Dimensions: 300mm diameter base x 800mm high.
• New Shower Cd With Mirror - One of our best selling items has had a face lift and returns new and improved now with a built in mirror. This shower proof MW/FM Radio and CD player with swing out speakers has a built in LCD digital display panel which is backlite with the choice of three colours and displays the cd track digital frequency and a handy clock with alarm feature. Dimensions: approximately 250h x 67d x 155w mm closed or 290w with speakers opened out.
• Luci The Nodding Devil Girl - If you drive like the devil himself then Luci could be your perfect green eyed traveling companion as you only need to take one look at the naughty gleam in her eyes to know that she's not evil but she's definitely bad to the bone or in this case red forked tail! Luci sits approximately 15cm in height and is the perfect nodding accessory for sitting on your dashboard parcel shelf or even on your office desk.
• Severed Fingers And Toes Sweets - This thoroughly gruesome gift idea of severed Jelly fingers and toes dripping in blood is perfect for your little devils to munch on. Whoever thought this one up obviously went a little too far with the idea of a finger buffet! Still at least they won't have to clip their nails again.
• Specraver Red Neon Sunglasses - The SpecRaver red flashing neon sunglasses are available exclusively through The Alternative Gift Company and we believe that these are quite possibly the coolest thing to hit the UK this year. Whether you wear them for clubbing pubbing partying or just plain fun in the office or home we think these are red hot. The glasses have a lead which can be concealed under your clothing which attaches to a battery pack which you can clip to your belt. Two settings are available standard mode lights the entire frame of the glasses like a neon tube and the second setting makes the neon pulse on and off rapidly. Requires 2xAA batteries. Also available in Blue. May not be suitable for people with epilepsy.
• Specraver Blue Neon Sunglasses - The SpecRaver blue flashing neon sunglasses are available exclusively through The Alternative Gift Company and we believe that these are quite possibly the coolest thing to hit the UK this year. Whether you wear them for clubbing pubbing partying or just plain fun in the office or home we think these are hot. The glasses have a lead which can be concealed under your clothing which attaches to a battery pack which you can clip to your belt. Two settings are available standard mode lights the entire frame of the glasses like a neon tube and the second setting makes the neon pulse on and off rapidly. Requires 2xAA batteries. Also available in Red. May not be suitable for people with epilepsy.
• Smoking Donkey Cigarette Dispenser - The ultimate cigarette dispenser. If you want to impress your friends then this is definitely the coffee table accessory for you! Simply fill Neddies back pack with up to twenty four of your favourite cigarettes press down on his lug holes and grab yourself a smoke. Looks good anywhere!
• Caution Hot!! Warning Oven Glove - This snazzy bright yellow and black Hazard oven glove is perfect for those of you training to be the next Jamie Oliver or Delia Smith but need a bit more practice when the heat is on in the kitchen!
• Ouch! Safari Plasters - Introducing the wild side of first aid! Fifteen sterile and fully waterproof deluxe camouflage plasters for use in the suburban savannah or the urban jungle. Four different designs all presented in a smart zebra striped tin measuring 9.5cm x 7cm. Perfect plasters for your big or little tigers!
• Desktop Darts - Magnetic pocket darts game. Comes complete with a brief history of Darts if you're interested and makes a great desk accessory so you can say so long to boring lunch hours!
• Reflexology Socks - Don't you just love having your feet massaged? These socks have individual toes and are clearly labelled with each pressure point making the ancient and natural art of reflexology easy. Just slip them on and gently apply pressure with your thumb to each specific pressure point to stimulate and soothe through reflexology. One size fits all.
• Outrageous After Dinner Jokes - A brilliant collection of hilarious adult stories and jokes that are sure to bring the house down!
• The Far Side Wall Calendar - The world famous Gary Larson Far Side calendar. The very best humour and absurdities in the workplace all in a wall calendar for you to enjoy for the whole year!
• Little Book Of Irish Jokes - A humorous look at the inhabitants of that Emerald Isle. Jokes that'll have them laughing in the Bars Rib tickling and B'jaysus out of them or just leave them guffawing into their Guinness.
• The Far Side Desk Calendar - The world famous Gary Larson Far Side weekly desk calendar. The very best humour and absurdities in the workplace all in a desk calendar for you to enjoy everyday of the week!
• The Odd Squad Little Book Of Oldies - Anyone who has taken a trip to their local card shop will have probably seen or bought a card penned by the author of this hilarious new book featuring Britain's very own dysfunctional family The Odd Squad. Allan Plenderleith's clever coarse and always comic observations are illustrated in this handy sized hilarious book on the subject of oldies.
• Holy Shit Turd Figurine - This Holy shit figurine measuring approximately 10cm in height carries an important and timeless message for us all to bear in mind when we're sat at our desks burried under paperwork with crazy deadlines to keep to which is 'take no shit' and if you really have to carry a big stick and a mad look in your eyes!
• Elvis Photomosaic Jigsaw Puzzle - This challenging and unique photomosaic puzzle features a thousand miniature photographs of Elvis taken throughout his lifetime combined to make one awesome portrait! A must for all Elvis fans! 1000 pieces.
• Bog Father Special Edition Turd Figurine - One crossed look in the Bog Father's direction and he'll make sure that you're the one swimming with the faeces or should that be fishes?! Either way this impressively detailed special edition turd measuring approximately 13.5cm in height commands your complete loyalty and respect to become part of the family or he'll make sure that your part of a motorway bridge!
• Tottenham Share Gift Pack - Calling all Tottenham Hotspur fans! You can now buy a Tottenham Hotspur Gift Pack directly from the Alternative Gift Company. This gift will transfer a real single share into your ownership. Each presentation pack comes complete with a postage paid registration card a parchment presentation certificate a club information sheet a letter of introduction from SoloShare and a shareholder information sheet. Once you have completed and returned the registration card from your pack your details will be passed to the company registrar. The actual share certificate will be forwarded to you by the company registrar once the share has been transferred into your name. Owning part of the club means that you will receive information directly. This can include things like annual reports invitations to meetings and a right to vote on company issues. Perfect as an alternative gift or simply as a treat for yourself. DISCLAIMER In view of the Financial Services Authority's requirements we are obliged to state that the purchase of this SoloShare gift pack is for the purposes of a present or a gift only. Neither SoloShare its resellers agents or representatives have given any advice as to the suitability of said purchase and it should not in any way be considered to be an investment. Your share can however be sold at any time through channels recognised by the London Stock Exchange and/or the Financial Services Authority subject to the dealing costs involved and the marketability of the share at the time. Please note that it is unlikely that the purchase price of the entire gift pack could be recovered by a subsequent sale. Please also note that this product cannot be refunded. A real share will be transferred into the given shareholder name. Only available to UK residents
• Celtic Share Gift Pack - Calling all Celtic fans! You can now buy a Celtic Gift Pack directly from the Alternative Gift Company. This gift will transfer a real single share into your ownership. Each presentation pack comes complete with a postage paid registration card a parchment presentation certificate a club information sheet a letter of introduction from SoloShare and a shareholder information sheet. Once you have completed and returned the Registration Card from your pack your details will be passed to the company registrar. The actual share certificate will be forwarded to you by the company registrar once the share has been transferred into your name. Owning part of the club means that you will receive information directly. This can include things like annual reports invitations to meetings and a right to vote on company issues. Perfect as an alternative gift or simply as a treat for yourself. DISCLAIMER In view of the Financial Services Authority's requirements we are obliged to state that the purchase of this SoloShare gift pack is for the purposes of a present or a gift only. Neither SoloShare its resellers agents or representatives have given any advice as to the suitability of said purchase and it should not in any way be considered to be an investment. Your share can however be sold at any time through channels recognised by the London Stock Exchange and/or the Financial Services Authority subject to the dealing costs involved and the marketability of the share at the time. Please note that it is unlikely that the purchase price of the entire gift pack could be recovered by a subsequent sale. Please also note that this product cannot be refunded. A real share will be transferred into the given shareholder name. Only available to UK residents
• Half Barrel Water Feature - This traditionally styled water feature measures 29cm in height and approximately 41cm in diameter and comes complete with suction/syphon pump operated by a lever action. The wooden barrel is manufactured from Nyatah hardwood which is renowned for its ability to withstand and retain water. Beautifully finished and a lovely addition to any garden whether it is in a countryside cottage setting or town dwelling. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Porno Star Mirror - This tiger striped furry little number is the perfect accessory for checking your look when you're out on the town having a wild night out and feeling grrroovy baby! Compact size means that it'll fit into the smallest of handbags.
• Rangers Share Gift Pack - Calling all Rangers fans! You can now buy a Rangers Gift Pack directly from the Alternative Gift Company. This gift will transfer a real single share into your ownership. Each presentation pack comes complete with a postage paid registration card a parchment presentation certificate a club information sheet a letter of introduction from SoloShare and a shareholder information sheet. Once you have completed and returned the Registration Card from your pack your details will be passed to the company registrar. The actual share certificate will be forwarded to you by the company registrar once the share has been transferred into your name. Owning part of the club means that you will receive information directly. This can include things like annual reports invitations to meetings and a right to vote on company issues. Perfect as an alternative gift or simply as a treat for yourself. DISCLAIMER In view of the Financial Services Authority's requirements we are obliged to state that the purchase of this SoloShare gift pack is for the purposes of a present or a gift only. Neither SoloShare its resellers agents or representatives have given any advice as to the suitability of said purchase and it should not in any way be considered to be an investment. Your share can however be sold at any time through channels recognised by the London Stock Exchange and/or the Financial Services Authority subject to the dealing costs involved and the marketability of the share at the time. Please note that it is unlikely that the purchase price of the entire gift pack could be recovered by a subsequent sale. Please also note that this product cannot be refunded. A real share will be transferred into the given shareholder name. Only available to UK residents
• Aston Villa Share Gift Pack - Calling all Aston Villa fans! You can now buy a Aston Villa Gift Pack directly from the Alternative Gift Company. This gift will transfer a real single share into your ownership. Each presentation pack comes complete with a postage paid registration card a parchment presentation certificate a club information sheet a letter of introduction from SoloShare and a shareholder information sheet. Once you have completed and returned the registration card from your pack your details will be passed to the company registrar. The actual share certificate will be forwarded to you by the company registrar once the share has been transferred into your name. Owning part of the club means that you will receive information directly. This can include things like annual reports invitations to meetings and a right to vote on company issues. Perfect as an alternative gift or simply as a treat for yourself. DISCLAIMER In view of the Financial Services Authority's requirements we are obliged to state that the purchase of this SoloShare gift pack is for the purposes of a present or a gift only. Neither SoloShare its resellers agents or representatives have given any advice as to the suitability of said purchase and it should not in any way be considered to be an investment. Your share can however be sold at any time through channels recognised by the London Stock Exchange and/or the Financial Services Authority subject to the dealing costs involved and the marketability of the share at the time. Please note that it is unlikely that the purchase price of the entire gift pack could be recovered by a subsequent sale. Please also note that this product cannot be refunded. A real share will be transferred into the given shareholder name. Only available to UK residents
• Rim Reaper Special Edition Turd - As the lyrics to the song by Blue Oyster Cult go Don't fear the Reaper baby take my hand . Now after taking one look at this quality Special Edition Rim Reaper figurine measuring approximately 13.5cm in height that's probably the last thing that anyone would want to do unless you were really dieing to go for a number two!
• Birmingham City Share Gift Pack - Calling all Birmingham City fans! You can now buy a Birmingham City Gift Pack directly from the Alternative Gift Company. This gift will transfer a real single share into your ownership. Each presentation pack comes complete with a postage paid registration card a parchment presentation certificate a club information sheet a letter of introduction from SoloShare and a shareholder information sheet. Once you have completed and returned the Registration Card from your pack your details will be passed to the company registrar. The actual share certificate will be forwarded to you by the company registrar once the share has been transferred into your name. Owning part of the club means that you will receive information directly. This can include things like annual reports invitations to meetings and a right to vote on company issues. Perfect as an alternative gift or simply as a treat for yourself. DISCLAIMER In view of the Financial Services Authority's requirements we are obliged to state that the purchase of this SoloShare gift pack is for the purposes of a present or a gift only. Neither SoloShare its resellers agents or representatives have given any advice as to the suitability of said purchase and it should not in any way be considered to be an investment. Your share can however be sold at any time through channels recognised by the London Stock Exchange and/or the Financial Services Authority subject to the dealing costs involved and the marketability of the share at the time. Please note that it is unlikely that the purchase price of the entire gift pack could be recovered by a subsequent sale. Please also note that this product cannot be refunded. A real share will be transferred into the given shareholder name. Only available to UK residents
• Cheeky Memos This Is Fucking Urgent - The Cheeky memo This is fucking urgent! pad is the perfect office accessory when a normal post it note simply doesn't get your point across hard enough!
• Funmail Pregnancy Test - Embarrass your friends and family by sending them mail in these hilarious new Funmail envelopes. Four different 'problems' per pack such as Pregnancy test results penis enlargement clinic Big nose membership application and Face lift operation are printed onto the bottom of the envelopes that are bound to get the postmen sniggering at the recipients expense!
• Cheeky Memos While You Were Out... - The Cheeky memo While you were out the shit hit the fan pad could have quite easily been designed for the alt-gifts offices as everything always seems to go wrong just after we've walked out the door to go down the pub!
• Cheeky Memos This Bastard Called... - The Cheeky memo This bastard called while you were out pad is the perfect office accessory when a normal post it note simply doesn't get your point across hard enough!
• Vibrating Booby Sponge - Following on from our highly successful range of vibrating bath time accessories comes the fabulous fully waterproof vibrating booby sponge. Measuring approximately 43cm in diameter this powerful pulsating booby shaped sponge features a variable speed adjustment and extra absorbant material that will make you want to throw out your rubber duckie in no time at all! Shower playtime will never be the same again...
• Oceanic Steamer Chair - This stylish well made and extremely hard wearing Keruing hardwood steamer chair comes complete with polished brass fittings and features adjustable arms back and leg support with a leg rest extension to transform this luxurious item from a laid back chair into a bed. Easy to assemble all the tools you'll need to construct it are included with the chair. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product. Please allow 3-5 days for delivery. Cushion also available
• Green And Yellow Striped Steamer Cushion - This full length dark green and gold striped steamer cushion features an adjustable head rest and removable covers. Matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood steamer chair pictured (AGC product code ag0420420190). Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea.
• Patio Heater - This stylish dark green patio heater stands an impressive 220cm in height and gives out a very generous amount of heat (13kw) for those sometimes chilly British summer evenings. Base stand measures 44.5cm whilst the top reflector unit measures 81cm giving a wide and even displacement of the heat generated. Comprehensive assembly instructions are included with a seven step pictorial guide. Runs on Calor or Patio bottled gas which is widely available. Includes a free full height zipped water proof cover hose and regulator. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Terracotta Parasol - Add a splash of Mediterranean colour to your garden or patio with this beautifully produced terracotta parasol measuring 3m in diameter. Made from Keruing hardwood the parasol has a pulley cord for raising or lowering the shade which is made from a heavy duty material to eliminate as many of the suns rays as possible. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Madrid Table Set - The Madrid garden furniture set includes a beautifully produced square table featuring textured safety glass with hard wood edging and legs along with four chairs which are metal framed with a mock whicker seat and back design. This robust yet highly attractive set would look great outside but also wouldn't look out of place in a conservatory. As with all our furniture its very easy to assemble. The list price shown is the recommended retail price. We are able to discount this product so heavily due to the immense volumes of this line we have purchased. The quality is by no means affected in any way. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Emergency Triangle - This cleverly designed folding emergency triangle is an essential item for all motorists to keep with them in the car as it's red and yellow reflectors feature eighteen flashing lights that are visible at over three hundred metres in most weather conditions. Easily assembled in seconds the flashing light warning triangle is conveniently compact when not in use. Requires 4 AA batteries (not included)
• Double Sized Sand Free Beach Mat In Hot Pink - Apart from a six foot bronzed Adonis to help you apply your sun tan lotion this has to be the most stylish and practical companion for a perfect day on the beach. With built in inflatable head cushions and a pair of handy drinks holders this hot pink double beach mat features inflatable sides to stop your beach towel looking like a sand dune by the end of the day.
• Stainless Steel Patio Heater - This stylish stainless steel patio heater stands an impressive 220cm in height and gives out a very generous and adjustable amount of heat (13.5kw) for those sometimes chilly British summer evenings. Base stand measures 44.5cm whilst the top reflector unit measures 81cm giving a wide and even displacement of the heat generated. Comprehensive assembly instructions are included with a seven step pictorial guide. Runs on LPG bottled gas which is widely available.
• Rose Companion Bench - Rose Companion bench. This charming bench is perfect for your favourite part of the garden. Comes with 2 intergrated table/shelves and also has a hole for a parasol. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Colour Whirl Pool - The Colour whirl swim centre pool is perfect for ages 6 and over and measures 98 inches x 80 inches with a wall height of 22 inches inflated. The water capacity is an impressive 192 gallons when it's 80% full and features a convenient drain plug 1 air chamber with double valve intake and free-flow exhaust valve and a repair patch.
• 10 Foot X 30 Inch Easy Set Pool - When the going gets hot the hot jump into this family sized pool! Easy to set up with no tools required this family sized pool measures ten foot in diameter and can hold up to 915 gallons of water. Incredibly durable the side walls are made with three separate layers of material for extra strength and durability whilst the two outer layers of heavy gauge PVC are laminated to the inner layer of polyester mesh for extra reinforcement - a total thickness of 28 gauge. The liner is supported by an inflatable top ring whilst the pool goes up by itself as the water level rises. Pool kit includes: Convenient drain plug for easy emptying. 230 volt AC filter unit. Shelf box. Repair patch and instruction video.
• Sunset Glow Pool - Why not bring a little sunshine glow to your garden with this colourful four ringed paddling pool measuring 66 inches x 18 inches. Perfect for ages 3 and over this hard wearing pool has 9/8 gauge vinyl sides and floor and can hold a maximum of 713 litres when fully inflated.
• Half Barrell Table And Four Chairs + Free Cushions - 135cm Barrel Table and four Victoria Folding Armchairs with four free green and gold chair cushions. This attractive table and chairs fold away for easy storage. This set is made from FSC Parana Balau. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications.
• Atlantic Extension Table 2m - 2.5m And Six Atlantic Recliners - Atlantic extension table (2m - 2.5m) and 6 new atlantic recliners. This stylish table extends to a length of 2.5 metres so you will have plenty of room for dinner parties alfresco! All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Chequers Folding 1.3m Round Table And Four Chequers Recliners - Chequers folding 1.3m round table and 4 chequers recliners. This whole set folds up neatly for easy storage. The chequers pattern is followed through to the chairs which have been clevely curved for extra comfort. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Pagoda 1.3m Folding Octagonal Table And Four Folding Chairs - Pagoda 1.3m folding octagonal table and 4 pagoda folding chairs. This set is perfect for the smaller garden it folds up neatly. The table is in an octagonal design and comes with 4 slatted seat and back chairs. There is also a hole for a parasol. This All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Caspian Folding Table And Four Caspian Folding Chairs - Caspian folding table and 4 caspian folding chairs. This set is perfect for the those compact patios comes with an octagonal table and for slatted chairs that all fold up neatly for easy storage. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Beaufort Bistro Table And Two Beaufort Armchairs - Beaufort Bistro table and 2 beaufort armchairs. This set is perfect for any garden patio or shaded area. It comes with 2 solid wood armchairs and a matching round coffee table. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Montana Bench Set With Four Free Cushions And A Green Parasol - FREE! The Montana set now comes complete with two green and gold armchair cushions two green and gold bench cushions along with a 2.7m green parasol all supplied free of charge. That's a total package cost of over £120! This Montana bench set is surely one of this spring's hottest deals! Normally retailing for £599 we have managed to reduce this to £299 due to the immense volume of this line we have purchased. Stock is limited and available this week. The set includes the table measuring 1.5m x 80cm a pair of three seater benches and two armchairs. It's manufactured from Keruing which is an extremely durable hardwood that has a naturally high oil resin content which makes it ideal for the varying UK climate. All the timber used is from FSC approved sources. Set comes in five individual boxes and assembly takes approximately 20 minutes.
• Preserver Radio Control Plane - Now if you're anything like me you've probably always fancied owning a radio controlled plane but have been put off by the usual enormous price the complicated pilot lingo where they waffle on about pitch roll yaw and altitude and then of course you've got the inevitable first landing to look forward to where you stick your expensive new aeroplane into terra firma like a pub dart. Well worry no more as you can soon be safely up up and away into the great blue yonder with the new Preserver RC airplane that requires absolutely no flying experience but promises huge amounts of fun! Weighing only 47 grams this lightweight micro plane with a wing span of 35.5cm has an impact absorbing nose cone and can be flown indoors or outdoors comes fully assembled and features an on board microprocessor to control the thrust vectoring twin motors. The planes high performance NiMH battery takes approximately five minutes to charge from the remote control unit and the pack includes spare props display stand and instructions outlining basic flying techniques. Chocks away and clear for take off Squadron leader!
• Recliner Cushion Green And Yellow Stripe - This dark green and gold striped recliner cushion features an adjustable head rest and removable covers. Matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood recliner chair. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Camouflage Print Small Suitcase - So there you are standing at the luggage carousel at the airport looking tanned and relaxed after your holiday when suddenly all hell breaks loose as ten other people have just mistaken your suitcase for theirs. Avoid the violence stress and confusion of the airport luggage scrum this year by snapping up this distinctive hard wearing camouflage print suitcase that will ensure you stand out from the rest of the crowd. Produced from ABS plastic this incredibly high quality twenty inch suitcase features both combination and key locking mechanisms vertical telescopic and horizontal carry handles two wheels clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. As seen on Big Brother 2004.
• Children's Gazebo Set - Children's Gazebo set. This brightly coloured gazebo comes in yellow red and blue fabric and also included is a bold table and 2 chairs to match. All our metal products are made from heavy gauge tubular steel/aluminium with coloured powder coatings which offer an attractive and durable finish. All of the furniture is CE marked.
• Inflatable England Chair - Don't be let down whilst watching our boys play in Euro 2004 add this generously sized England chair to your shopping bag and you'll be sitting comfortably watching the match in no time! Approximate inflated size: 94L x 74W x 84H cm.
• Get Knotted! Garden Game - There's massive fun to be had with this giant party game for up to thirty players. Throw the two inflatable dice to find out which part of your body you have to place on which flower. Get knotted up with the other players to make the game more difficult for them. But beware fall over and you're out of the game! This is a great party game after a few sherbets! Pack includes a three metre square playmat pegs and two inflatable dice.
• Garden Darts Garden Game - Massive darts for massive fun in the garden! The flights have been designed with a grippy end to allow you to hold them easily for throwing. Pack contains six darts in three colours with two target rings. Score points by landing your darts inside the target rings with higher points if you hit the bullseye. You need accuracy and a steady hand to win.
• Pickup Sticks Garden Game - The idea is that you poor them out onto the lawn and everyone is given a colour that they have to pick up without moving any of the others. You need steady hands and nerves of steel to play this. Pack contains thirty coloured wooden sticks.
• Hopping Mad Garden Game - This is great fun remember the orange space hoppers from the seventies? These are the same thing but in brighter colours. The pack has three of these twenty four inch inflatable's which are suitable for adults to race and general larking around. Comes complete with foot pump and whistle.
• 3 In 1 Blue Canvas Chair - The Kelsyus 3 in 1 chair combines the comfort of a generously sized chair with the portability of a backpack and a drink cooler. The protective cover contains an oversized pouch that can store clothing snacks money and other valuables out of sight while the lower insulated pouch provides an unexpected portable cooler that can keep up to six soda cans ice cold. This chair is a must for anyone who leaves the house with more than they can hold in two hands.
• Ferrari Silverstone Projection Alarm Clock - The Ferrari Silverstone is a radio-controlled projection alarm clock with calendar and thermometer functions. The projection facility with 180 degree tiltable projection head enables the user to beam an image of the current time as well as the Ferrari logo onto a darkened wall or ceiling. The alarm clock features a two minute daily crescendo alarm with eight minute snooze function and there’s a choice of alarm tones: wake up in conventional manner with the regular beep alarm or leap up raring to face the day to the roar of a Ferrari engine! This amazing gadget has the added feature of the clock being automatically updated by MSF radio signal broadcast from an official atomic clock in Rugby so it’s always dead-on accurate.
• Beaufort Three Seater Bench - Beaufort 3 seater bench. A heavy duty bench mad from Nyatah. A perfecr occassional bench or it could be bought to match the Beaufort table and chairs set. All of our primary products are manufactured from durable hardwoods. These are kiln dried to a maximum humidity in accordance with internatioal specifications. All Pagoda furniture complies with the regualtions protecting not only the enviroment but also social and economic standards. We support the aims of the International Tropical Timber Organisation (ITTO) and all timer used in the manufacture of our products is from a certified source.
• Inflatable Boxing Gloves - Now I don't think Muhammad Ali quite had this in mind when he said float like a butterfly sting like a bee but if you're daft enough to fill these whopping great inflatable boxing gloves with helium instead of air that's exactly what you'll end up doing! Perfect for children of all ages (including half the people in this office so it seems!) to safely play fight without knocking lumps out of each other.
• Beach Babe Sunset Beach Towel - Make your place round the pool with this bright seventies style plush playboy beach towel. Towel measures 100cm x 180cm.
• Camouflage Print Medium Suitcase - So there you are standing at the luggage carousel at the airport looking tanned and relaxed after your holiday when suddenly all hell breaks loose as ten other people have just mistaken your suitcase for theirs. Avoid the violence stress and confusion of the airport luggage scrum this year by snapping up this distinctive hard wearing camouflage print suitcase that will ensure you stand out from the rest of the crowd. Produced from ABS plastic this incredibly high quality twenty five inch suitcase features both combination and key locking mechanisms vertical and horizontal handles four wheels clothes divider and a pair of fold away coat hangers. As seen on Big Brother 2004.
• Recliner Cushion Blue And Yellow Stripe - This dark blue and gold striped recliner cushion features an adjustable head rest and removable covers matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood recliner chair. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Armchair Cushion Blue And Yellow Stripe - This dark blue and gold stripe armchair cushion features removable covers matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood armchair. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Dunker Mug - Ahhh yes the perennial British favourite of tea and biscuits goes together like strawberries and cream rhubarb and custard Canon and Ball. Ok so the last example wasn't so hot but this simple yet excellent idea from the designer Dominic Skinner now lets you enjoy your favourite brew with up to three of your favourite biccies close to hand. Dunking marvellous!
• Super Swingball - This super swingball bat and ball set is great fun for all the family and ideal for use in the garden or on the beach. Featuring a faster super windicator sleeve two high quality checker bats and an adjustable height pole of up to 1.6 metres (five foot three inches) the hard wearing weather resistant components are ideal for some serious summer fun!
• Folding Chair Cushions Green And Yellow Stripe - This park of four dark green and gold stripe folding chair cushions feature removable covers and matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood folding chairs. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Folding Chair Cushions Blue And Yellow Stripe - This pack of four dark blue and gold stripe folding chair cushions feature removable covers and matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood folding chairs. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Bench Cushion Green And Yellow Stripe - This dark green and gold stripe bench cushion features removable covers and matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood benches. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Bench Cushion Blue And Yellow Stripe - This dark blue and gold stripe bench cushion features removable covers and matches beautifully with our Keruing hardwood benches. Incredibly comfortable and very well padded making the thought of lounging around in the garden on a hot summer day a very attractive idea. All of our cushions are produced from hard wearing fabrics which simply unzip when the time comes for a quick clean. All are machine washable and match and cigarette resistant. We offer a full 28 day money back guarantee on any purchase of this item if you are not satisfied with the product.
• Love Bug Massager - This strange looking love bug is definitely a handy little chap to have around the office as it's four vibrating feet are perfect for relieving the stress and tension of office life once applied to your back shoulders or legs. Colours may vary
• Radio Control Forklift - Well I think we've finally found the ideal gift for our overworked warehouse manager. Instead of him crashing (sorry Phil I meant to write moving) the pallets and boxes around the warehouse he can get a bit of desktop practice in with this incredibly fun 1/20 replica of a full size forklift truck. With three forward speeds reverse and highly accurate steering this truck even has working headlights and a really cool lifting mechanism with the anti-tip backward tilt so that you can move the two pallets box and four orange cones provided in perfect safety. Requires 4 x AAA batteries and 1 x PP3 battery (not included)
• Luvtxt Book - This book lists over 1000 abbreviations emoticons and their meanings to help you make e-love on the move in the 21st Century.
• He Says Mars She Says Venus Book - Check out the man and womanspeak in this invaluable little book. No one in a meaningful or meaningless relationship should be without it.
• Radio Control Firing Battle Tank - Of all the boys toys that we've been lucky enough to have on our humble web site over the years this one has to slot into the top spot as one of the coolest ever produced. This multi-function battle tank not only looks incredible whilst stationary with it's impressive detailing but it's also packed full of features which has kept the lads in the office quiet (well nearly!) for hours on end. With three forward speeds reverse and multi-directional steering from the radio control unit this 1/24 scale battle bruiser has the ability to swivel the turret raise and lower the barrel and even shoot up to forty plastic BB pellets with a maximum range of 25 metres! Please take care whilst firing the pellets as children and pets definitely won't appreciate the punch this mighty tank can deliver. Requires 8xAA and one 9V box battery.
• Golfer Cufflink - If he's one of those Golf Freaks which the world seems full of then I am sure these will go down a treat
• Medium Pole Dancers Pole - If you've always fancied recreating some of your favourite scenes from such films as Striptease or perhaps Show Girls then this height adjustable Kitten Pole could be just the bedroom accessory you've been looking for! The Kitten pole has a heavy duty adjustable mounting foot which will keep its position on any flooring. It's a fully portable storable and innovative gift idea which is also a great way to keep fit and do some rather unusual entertaining just remember that you've got a job to go to the next morning! With that in mind it might be a good idea to invest in a crash mat just in case you get a little carried away when you're getting your groove on! Small Kitten pole is adjustable from 90.6 inches to 94.5 inches.
• Penis Spray - Our buyers have once again excelled themselves. Not quite sure how because there all a little stupid as you can see from this product. No I am not going to give you an explanation. Come to your own conclusions! Actually contains a rather pleasant air freshener.
• Pom Large Plush Toy - Baby Pom from the magical world of Fimbles is your soft and cuddly friend. Approx 14 inches high and is made of soft striped plush fabric.
• Puzzle Vase - The detail and clarity of this exquisite puzzle vase will surely add depth and beauty to any object contained within it. Measuring 25cm in height the design is sand blasted onto the vase which is carefully hand made from Soda glass at the world’s largest hand blown glass making factory in Krosno Poland which boasts over a centuries experience in fine glass making.
• Bongeye Sheep Wrecked Stash Pot - Now I don't want to ram this point home but it's important that ewe understand that this sheep wrecked stash pot certainly isn't designed to keep your potpourri in!
• Meyer Covered Sauteuse Pan - Beautifully produced from high quality heavy gauge polished 18/10 stainless steel for maximum durability this 26cm sauteuse pan features a full cap friction bonded base utilising heavy gauge aluminium which eliminates hot spots and ensures even heat distribution. With stylish phenolic fittings self basting lid which helps to retain flavour and nutrients the pan is oven safe up to 350F/180C/Gas mark 4 and best of all it's dishwasher safe and comes complete with a Meyer 25 year guarantee!
• The Odd Squad Little Book Of Women - Anyone who has taken a trip to their local card shop will have probably seen or bought a card penned by the author of this hilarious new book featuring Britain's very own dysfunctional family The Odd Squad. Allan Plenderleith's clever coarse and always comic observations are illustrated in this handy sized hilarious book on the subject of Women.
• Meyer Professional Steamer - The ultimate asparagus or sweet corn steamer! Beautifully produced from high quality heavy gauge polished 18/10 stainless steel for maximum durability this 16cm steamer features a 6mm full cap upper and lower steamer baskets and a friction bonded stainless steel and aluminium base which eliminates hot spots and ensures even heat distribution. Stylish stainless steel fittings are oven safe up to 475F/240C/gas mark 9 and best of all it's dishwasher safe and comes complete with a Meyer 25 year guarantee!
• Meyer Five Piece Stainless Steel Esteam Set - This revolutionary new range of cookware has a unique sure baste lid which helps to retain moisture nutrients and most importantly the flavour. This stylish five piece set contains 1 x 14cm (0.9L) milk pan 1 x 16cm (1.9L) covered saucepan 1 x 18cm (2.8L) covered saucepan 1 x 20cm (3.8L) covered saucepan with helper handle and 1 x 24cm (10 ) open french skillet. Esteam products are oven safe up to 180C/350F or Gas Mark 4 and are even suitable for dishwashers and all cooker types (except induction).
• Classic Saucy Dining Moments - If you love having risqué dinner parties then this wild party pack is definitely for you. Included in the high quality gift box is everything you'll need to stage a raunchy saucy party for your friends. The theme of the evening is passion the food you'll prepare will be laced with aphrodisiacs and if that isn't enough your friends will be challenged by sex trivia and a series of other games that leave little to the imagination! Box contains: a sixty minute CD with a selection of sexy music detailed recipes for every course an ingredient shopping list eight dinner party invitations and envelopes four replica table menus eight place settings forty eight trivia questions and answers and a booklet with saucy games and everything you ever wished to know about aphrodisiacs.
• Small Pole Dancers Pole - If you've always fancied recreating some of your favourite scenes from such films as Striptease or perhaps Show Girls then this height adjustable Kitten Pole could be just the bedroom accessory you've been looking for! The Kitten pole has a heavy duty adjustable mounting foot which will keep its position on any flooring. It's a fully portable storable and innovative gift idea which is also a great way to keep fit and do some rather unusual entertaining just remember that you've got a job to go to the next morning! With that in mind it might be a good idea to invest in a crash mat just in case you get a little carried away when you're getting your groove on! Small Kitten pole is adjustable from 88.2 inches to 92.1 inches.
• Classic Robin Hood Dining Moments - Dine with Robin Hood and Maid Marion! If you love having themed dinner parties then this ye olde dinning experience is made for you! Included in the high quality gift box is everything you'll need to stage a themed dinner party. Box includes: a sixty minute CD with music from the period four replica table menus eight place settings a booklet with modernised recipes for every course an ingredient shopping list a period drink recipe a character history booklet forty eight trivia questions and answers dinner party invitations and envelopes and a booklet with the history of the characters the music drink dress and food of the period.
• Book Of Dreams - An incredibly illuminating book about dreams for those of you who believe that all subconscious thoughts are really about sex. Well they are aren't they? I think I'm going to be forced into reading this one as I'm fascinated how my dream about being chased down a hill by a giant chocolate digestive can have any sexual connotations whatsoever...
• Easy Dinner Party's Recipes - If your cooking skills leave you cold and the thought of planning the menu for your very own dinner party gives you the shakes than this book could have been written with your social salvation in mind. Sixty easy disgrace free recipes for dinner parties that'll make you a dinner party legend and avoid crippling psychological damage... or at least that's what the bit of blurb on the back says anyway!
• Idiot Proof Recipes - Oh I see yet more hasty generalisations and sarcastic comments made inevitably by some smug and superior woman about the average mans ability to prepare and cook the simplest of meals. Ahem oh alright I admit it I could manage to burn water if I hadn't already been banned from the kitchen at home on several occasions. A cookbook for the man who probably only owns one saucepan.
• The Longest Crossword - The longest crossword in the world it's fabulous fun and very very long! In fact it's over six metres in length!
• The Longest Word Search - The longest word search in the world it's fabulous fun and very very long! There are nearly seven hundred film star names hidden in this word search and it's over six metres long!
• Rollerscape Starter Pack - Build up amazingly elaborate constructions using these finely engineered components then fit the rollerscape track and let those marbles roll! This Rollerscape marble roller coaster starter set contains one hundred and two pieces. Suitable for ages 6 to 96!
• Unicycle - A full size unicycle suitable for ages 14 to adult. Simple assembly required. Well err that's it then. It's got a wheel pedals a little frame and a seat. Now I know that this is supposed to be the highly useful and incredibly informative product description part but that's really all there is to it... what more do you people want... stabilisers?!
• Survival Kit - In 2002 the impending bankruptcy of the Kazakhstan army enabled Loncraine Broxton to buy the last remaining supplies of the army's famous military survival kit. The kit is renowned in the highest military circles as an essential piece of equipment for soldiers venturing into the most dangerous inhospitable locations perfect for when you have to brave your next visit grocery shopping. The kit contains: the patented X001-6 tool featuring a can opener/knife/screwdriver/ruler 4 position wrench/butterfly screw wrench/saw blade/direction indicator 2 position wrench/lanyard hole/compass/fishing kit/sewing kit/medi wipes/bandages/plasters/water bag/whistle/mirror/candle and snare. Also included is a comprehensive survival and first aid guide which gives detailed instructions for survival in hazardous situations.
• Pope On A Rope - Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Wash away your sins with Pope soap on a rope guaranteed to cleanse even the grubbiest souls. Coming soon (maybe) is the new range of world leader soaps called dope on a rope featuring the highly talented and articulate President Bush and the nations favourite (sic) Prime Minister Tony Blair.
• World Time Zone Clocks - If your head is still in a different time zone after your latest exotic foreign holiday or perhaps you want to know when you're Auntie in Australia will be home from work so you can call her then this pack of three world time zones clocks is simply made for you!
• Love Dice - Tried and tested! This set of lovers dice really are an essential accessory for breaking the ice and easing your way into a night's carnal indulgence with your lover by introducing some fun to your foreplay. With words like fondle and lick on one dice and breasts and buttocks on the other you'll be sure to get the evening off to a steamy start. It's fair to say that these dice may cause the more sensitive types amongst us to blush occasionally as well!
• Death Clock - This amazingly popular and somewhat darkly humorous CD-ROM assess your lifestyle after you've completed a series of questions and calculates how long you have to go until you turn up your toes. It then places a countdown to death clock screensaver on your PC which counts down second by second each and every day until you pop your clogs.... which sounds incredibly jolly doesn't it?! Requires a PC running any version of Windows and Flash player 6.
• Dumb Dares For The Office - Dumb dares for the workplace. Slow day at work? Fancy a bit of excitement? Just grab some colleagues the Diabolical Dare selector and the dumb dares card pack and let the hilarity commence. Featuring two hundred and fifty of the dumbest dares you could imagine you simply won't want to go home!
• Frazzle Countdown - Frazzle is an intergalactic dexterity test involving Alvin the friendly alien who has come to earth to visit his brother Alan but he's crashed his spacecraft which has created an electrifying cloud of high voltage static electricity! You only have one minute to decontaminate him before he's FRAZZLED!
• Silver Chain Bracelet With Fairy - A delicate silver chain with a silver fairy charm a perfect gift for a little angel. Silver chain bracelet with fairy (14cm).
• Solid Silver Childs Adjustable Bangle - A delicate adjustable bangle with a silver heart and diamond a perfect gift for a little angel. Solid silver childs adjustable bangle with heart and diamond detail.
• Solid Silver Heart Earrings - These pretty solid silver heart earrings will complement any outfit simple but elegant with diamond detail.
• Solid Silver Bangle With Three Diamond Detail - A simple solid silver bangle with three diamond detail the perfect accessory to any outfit.
• Silver Charm Necklace - This pretty sterling silver necklace comes with a heart cross and square charm all with a single diamond. Silver charm necklace (41cm).
• Silver Charm Bracelet - This pretty sterling silver bracelet comes with a heart cross and square charm all with a single diamond. Silver charm bracelet (19cm).
• 9ct Solid Heart And Diamond Earrings - These pretty solid gold heart earrings will complement any outfit simple but elegant with diamond detail. 9ct solid heart and diamond earrings.
• 9ct Hollow Heart Necklace - This beautifully presented gold hollow heart necklace has a single diamond detail and is a lovely everyday necklace. 9ct hollow heart necklace (41cm chain).
• 9ct Gold Kiss Diamond Earrings - These pretty solid gold earrings are the perfect gift you'll have kisses on your ears all day long for your loved one. 9ct gold kiss diamond earrings.
• 9ct Gold Kiss Necklace - For all you romantics out there give your loved one this beautiful 'kiss' necklace. It has a square linked 16 inch chain with a gold kiss charm with a single diamond. 9ct gold kiss necklace (41cm chain).
• Gary Rhodes Knife Set - With over twenty years of slicing dicing carving and peeling using an endless combination of knives from around the world Gary Rhodes is confident that he has created a range of knives that will meet all of your cutting requirements in the kitchen. This professional range of knives will make cooking preparation easy and enjoyable as each knife offers a soft touch/non slip handle stainless steel blade is dishwasher safe and is made in Sheffield UK. The set consists of a 3 ½ inch plain edge blade 4 ¾ inch plain edge blade 6 inch plain edge blade 7 inch scalloped edge blade 8 inch plain edge blade and a 9 inch scalloped edge blade all designed to Gary's unique specification.
• Ruben 56 Piece Cutlery Canteen - The Rubens set is a high quality fifty six piece canteen of stainless steel cutlery made by Richardson Sheffield. Each set consists of eight of the following: dinner forks knives dessert spoons teaspoons dessert forks and knives and eight soup spoons. All are dishwasher safe and come complete with a ten year guarantee.
• Olive Drain - This is a brilliant present for those of you who like entertaining just pour your delicious olives onto this clever ceramic grate and let the integrated drainer do the rest. Designed and manufactured in the UK. Approximate dimensions are: L 18cm W 18cm H 4cm.
• Newmarket Racehorse Tours - The perfect gift for any horse racing enthusiast. Newmarket race course is world renowned for being the headquarters and the spiritual home of British horse racing. With this extra special guided tour you will be able to take in the following areas of Newmarket: The Gallops which is the 2 500 acres of the Jockey Club gallops where you can see the horses at work. The National Stud which is set in five hundred beautiful acres where you can see top stallions mares and foals (open 1st March – 30th September and October race days). The training yard where you will be able to view the daily working and a behind the scenes look at a real training stable and also depending on the time of year that you visit either the Equine swimming pool (Spring/Summer) or the British racing school (Autumn/Winter). Tour lasts for approximately three hours.
• Racing Pump - Now I know that this looks more like an instrument of torture rather than a sex toy but after reading numerous satisfied customer reviews about the racing pump it seems as if this is the definitive gadget for pulling your plonker. With a frankly enormous twelve inch flask pistol grip pump with safety release valve latex sleeve for easy entry and a powerful multi speed vibrator I can definitely see how the afore mentioned customers came to that conclusion! Requires 2 x AA batteries.
• Turbo Stroker - I don't know why but when I read anything with automatic stroker in the description I inevitably think of politicians rather than penis masturbators. Although I suppose both of them are designed to get on your cock. Anyway moving swiftly on before I lose my job this specially designed penis masturbator is made from real-feel jelly strokes up and down at variable speeds and also simulates a sucking action. Separate multi-speed control box requires 3xC batteries (included).
• Lasso Deluxe Cock Ring - The deluxe lasso love ring comes complete (no pun intended) with two adjustable slip-knots suitable for fitting over penis and balls and will help you to achieve a stronger firmer climax. Only available in the natural colour.
• Bed Bondage Set - Now this is some seriously kinky gear! This nine piece heavy-duty bed bondage set features ankle and wrist cuffs together with four rubber coated steel retaining leashes and snap link attachments. Have fun and play nicely won't you... won't you?
• Squeezer Teasers - This pack of two squeezer teaser nipple clamps will bring out a whole new dimension in protruding nipple excitement! Pushing your sexual desires to ultimately thrilling new limits simply pinch the clasps open and release onto your nipples. If you’re feeling really brave simply add your own weights to the cords provided…if you can handle it!
• Freestyle Swing - This exquisite love toy allows enables many new positions and the deepest penetration possible. Experience a new level of excitement in your sexual play. The Love Swing comes complete with all the necessary screws and raw plugs and has wide padded belts and straps for added comfort. Guaranteed top quality for freestyle sex! Made from tear proof nylon.
• Latex Stockings - Whether worn in the privacy of your own home or as part of an adventurous night clubbing outfit this pair of latex stockings are sure to make you feel saucy! Small to medium size.
• Nurses Outfit Large - Ohhh Matron I think its time for my sponge bath again! I wouldn't mind being ill if I had a girl wearing this cheeky little outfit to nurse me back to health.
• Latex Mini Dress Large - Whether worn in the privacy of your own home or as an adventurous night clubbing outfit this latex mini dress is sure to make you feel every inch the vixen that you are! Large size only.
• Lickin Tongue - This amazing rotating tongue measuring 8.5 inches by 1.75 inches works just like a real one...only it's more powerful and keeps going for longer! Requires 3 x AA batteries. As seen on V Graham Norton.
• Bingo Vibrator - To quote a well known catchphrase it's no wonder everyone's bingoing mad over this incredibly successful best selling multi-function vibrator. With a vibrating egg in the tip an unusual independently rotating shaft and a vibrating clitoral stimulator this Bingo vibrator has been causing quite a commotion in the press lately as the sex toy to have. The soft spikes on the shaft may look a little daunting but it's partly down to these that have given the Bingo it's awesome reputation. With a full six inches of length and one and half inches in girth this really is pleasure you can measure! Produced from an amazingly soft yet durable jelly called Elastomer which shares similar properties to silicone. Requires 4 x AAA batteries.
• Eclipse Ultra 7 Beaver - This hugely popular hi-tech vibrator offers advanced technology unmatched power and performance with glow in the dark buttons and LED indicator lights. Finished in chrome and clear jelly rubber this high quality vibrator has numerous functions including a rotating shaft with an oscillating tip six rows of rotating steel balls and seven different vibration modes. Three vibrating three pulsating and an escalate mode to slowly and pleasurable drive you wild!
• Energie Kegel Exerciser - It's a well known fact that childbirth and natural aging can weaken the vaginal or kegel muscles situated at the pelvic floor causing a loss of pleasurable feelings even orgasms. With that in mind the Natural Contours Energie has been ergonomically designed to be the perfect weight resistant barbell for the kegel muscle. Extensively researched and tested this helps women regain natural muscle tone and enjoy more intense orgasms. Highly recommended.
• Magnifique Vibrator - Introducing the Magnifique Natural contours massager designed by women for women. With an opening sentence as bold as that you know that this ergonomically designed massager is going to be amazing! Light-weight compact and incredibly quiet this stylish and discreet three speed massager has been carefully designed to fit the unique curves of the female form to provide an energizing and rewarding massage.
• Five Finger Massage Glove - Wow now this Fukuoku five finger massage glove looks simply amazing! This is the world's first fully waterproof multi-speed massage glove that has vibrating massage tips at the end of each finger that can dish out an incredible 45 000 vibrations per minute! The massage glove needs 3 AAA batteries to operate (included) which are cleverly housed in a waterproof pouch at the base of the glove.
• Fukuoku 9000 - Now I know that the Fukuoku 9000 may sound like a Japanese motorbike but I can assure you that it's actually the latest and greatest fingertip massager that simply slides over your finger and provides a silent and erotic vibration to anything you touch. The flexible finger band has a choice of three soft extensions and is powered by two button cell batteries provided (including 2 spare!) along with a handy travel pouch.
• Relaxology Pamper Pack - This excellent new relaxology pamper pack is chock full of goodies designed to help you relax in record time. Each pack contains a 250ml 'message in a bottle' shower gel a luxury organza body mop thirty emulsified oil bath beads two passion fruit soaps and a relaxing foot roller. Go on you owe it to yourself...
• Emergency Pants - In the 70's we had flares. In the 80's we had designer suits. In the 90's we had er flares again (clothing designers must have had the decade off) but the smarty pants emergency thong could only have been designed with the noughties in mind! Small enough to fit into the tinniest handbag this re-usable 100% cotton emergency thong will get you out of all sorts of trouble when you've been a naughty girl who's partied the night away. Colours may vary.
• Look Hot And Globe Trot Pack - You catch planes like lesser mortals catch buses. To be honest sparrows and superman fly less. The world isn't merely your oyster its your platter of fruits de mer naturally eaten at a fabulous undiscovered restaurant you discovered just outside of Marseilles. Your air miles could buy you... what couldn't they buy you? Well this kit (sorry) no seasoned traveller should be without whatever the season. Containing those things to ensure you are never anything less than your usual lively gorgeous self it's destined to become as essential as your passport and credit card.
• Double Umbrella - What could be more romantic than a couple enjoying a stroll in the park in the gentle autumn rain with the glow of each others love to keep them warm. Ok so I've actually managed to make myself feel nauseous with that last sentence but surely you understand the connection I'm trying to make when I mention this clever and rather stylish new double umbrella that automatically pops open at the touch of a button that'll help you and yours keep dry!
• Spot Stickers - I think the creators of this funky new gift idea might have been barking up the wrong tree as each pack contains 105 Dalmatian self adhesive spots not the predicted 101?! For goodness sake haven't they seen the film? Anyway each pack contains 105 (don't get me started again!) waterproof self adhesive spots in various sizes that are easy to remove and are ideal for decorating any smooth white surface.
• Large Cow Stickers - Put your fridge in a better moooood with the cowstick self adhesive black patches. Each pack contains six fully waterproof and easy to remove patches which have been made in various sizes to decowrate your fridge or any other smooooth surface. We all think that boring old white fridges should be put out to pasture as the cowstick kit is udderly brilliant!
• Large Pole Dancers Pole - If you've always fancied recreating some of your favourite scenes from such films as Striptease or perhaps Show Girls then this height adjustable Kitten Pole could be just the bedroom accessory you've been looking for! The Kitten pole has a heavy duty adjustable mounting foot which will keep its position on any flooring. It's a fully portable storable and innovative gift idea which is also a great way to keep fit and do some rather unusual entertaining just remember that you've got a job to go to the next morning! With that in mind it might be a good idea to invest in a crash mat just in case you get a little carried away when you're getting your groove on! Small Kitten pole is adjustable from 92.9 inches to 96.9 inches.
• Things My Grandmother Told Me - Entitled Things my grandmother told me about feeling fit and living longer than everyone else is a new book (which wasn't written by the Queen Mother I hasten to add) featuring page after page of invaluable yet light hearted snippets of information on subjects such as hayfever to hiccups to sneezing and skin exfoliants.
• Instant Aquarium Dvd - This DVD will transform your boring old TV into a delightfully glamorous aquarium! No feeding no cleaning and no fishy funerals. Bask in the admiration of all your friends!
• Special Delivery Puzzle - Look Twice - The one hundred piece jigsaw puzzle that challenges you to find all thirty baby delivering storks hidden amongst the hundreds of stamps.
• Vortex Illusion Puzzle - Vortex illusion puzzle give your eyeballs a real workout with this dazzling illusion puzzle! There are literally billions of combinations but the solution is in there somewhere...can you crack it?
• Danger Puzzle - Now this little gem takes mind mashingly difficult puzzles to whole new levels in fact this little blighter is soooo hard the makers have had to put it into a metal box just to protect the safety of the general public!
• Utterly Outrageous Drinking Games - An endless night of utterly outrageous fun and frolics are guaranteed with this fantastic compendium of adult drinking games. Each of the twenty games will turn any gathering into a night to remember as players cast their inhibitions aside and participate in what can only be described as sheer madness and mayhem!
• Cocktail Drinking Games - This cocktail shaker is full of fun as it contains all you need to play ten fantastic drinking games. Contains two dices five counters one blindfold and fifty cards containing games and forfeits.
• Thoroughly Hilarious Drinking Games - Thoroughly hilarious drinking games for those with a passion for unbridled hilarity... simply surrender yourself to this collection of nine diabolically daft drinking games and you'll never look back! So wave goodbye to inhibitions throw caution to the winds and enjoy all manner of naughtiness and hilarity!
• Twist Booz-o-meter Forfeits - Booz-o-meter forfeits test your dexterity and your sobriety and be ready to perform some of the most diabolical forfeits imaginable! Highly recommended as one of the best drinking games ever.
• 50 Romantic Ways To Say I Love You - Too embarrassed too shy or too scared of commitment to say those three little words? Now you don't have to because this pack of cards gives you fifty thoughtful surprises and loving gestures which speak much louder than words.
• Insults Every Day Of The Year - 365 outrageous insults that you can start from any day of the year! Starting tomorrow make the next 365 days the most insulting ever and believe me there's some absolute belters in here that will leave your victims reeling from your sarcasm. Try this line the next time one of your colleagues is looking vacant whilst gawping out of the window: Don't let your mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.
• Hilarious Jokes Every Day Of The Year - 365 hysterical jokes that you can start from any day of the year! Starting tomorrow make the next 365 days the funniest ever! Some of them are also startlingly accurate as well such as Why did Moses wander the desert for forty years? He was a man - he wouldn't ask for directions.
• Trivia For The Toilet - A book for the bog a strong absorbent trivia for the toilet. Splash proof easy wipe cover makes this the ultimate reading matter for the smallest room in the house.
• 100 Damn Good Reasons To Hate Cats - Sick of soppy books about cats? Reality Check: A cat sleeps all day play with its food does nothing constructive whatsoever is miserly with its affections and would happily turn its back on you in favour of someone who serves deluxe kitty food supreme. For those that need more convincing here are 100 damn good reasons why it really is okay to hate cats...
• Instant Adoring Boyfriend Dvd - At last a man who says all the right things who is considerate charming gorgeous and madly in love with you! Sounds too good to be true? Well he's in this dvd and he could be all yours!
• Friendship Braiding Kit - Girlsville!! Your friends will be queuing round the block! Show your friends how much you love them by making these stylish friendship braids as gifts for them to wear as necklaces bracelets or to braid into their hair.
• Obliteration Drinking Game - Obliteration! The hilarious drinking game! Take it in turns to remove a block from the tower. The aim is to remove the block without causing the tower to tumble! There's no escape - you'll have to perform a forfeit on each turn...however the severity of the forfeits depends on whether you successfully remove the block without tumbling the tower. If the tower tumbles be prepared to perform a diabolical forfeit! No excuses accepted as the forfeit must be carried out with as much effort enthusiasm and dignity as possible!
• Brilliant Bug Watcher - This brilliant bug watcher scientifikit is packed full of fascinating stuff to help you discover the amazing world of bugs! There's loads to do such as building a cosy bug box find your own bug zones incredible bug-tastic facts catch your own bugs examine different bugs and record your discoveries. Suitable for ages 6 onwards.
• Farm Folds Origami - With these delightfully colourful Origami kits kids can create all kinds of amazing things. Each kit comes with a beautifully illustrated pop-up scene easy to follow instructions and plenty of coloured paper to keep little fingers busy for hours!
• African Animal's Origami - With these delightfully colourful origami kits kids can create all kinds of amazing things. Each kit comes with a beautifully illustrated pop-up scene easy to follow instructions and plenty of coloured paper to keep little fingers busy for hours!
• Bottle Rocket - This amazing blast off bottle rocket kit soars to over 100 feet! Featuring revolutionary rocket technology which is easy to assemble and launch you'll soon be experiencing the thrill at ground control as you count down the seconds to the launch - then witness the spectacle as your bottle rocket takes off and streaks high into the sky!
• Computer Shelf - If your desk space has become as cluttered as mine then you'll certainly welcome this neat space saving tray system that allows you to neatly file away paperwork or office stationary in the two trays provided. Also included in the top of the unit is a solidly built 360 degree revolving plate which can be used for standing your computer monitor on or perhaps a shared telephone.
• Aeroplane Kit - Sensational soaring rubber band powered aeroplane kit which is incredibly easy to assemble and safe to launch! This is a high performance rubber band powered aeroplane that combines traditional design with state of the art aerodynamic technology such as adjustable flaps and wing angle! Every parent is sure to appreciate a toy that uses a simple tried and tested design rather than the latest winking blinking gadget that will need at least ninety four batteries before it'll even move.
• Vertical Cd System - This stylishly designed cd music system offers sleek and contemporary looks whilst boasting a useful array of features such as the modern vertical CD loading system programmable CD player with repeat function five function remote control and AM/FM stereo radio. The clever design allows you to either table top or wall mount the unit whilst the speakers are fully detachable with the option to remove the speaker grills.
• Hardware Caddy - This handy and compact hardware caddy contains hundreds of diy essentials such as screws nails wall plugs etc which are all neatly stored in six detachable organisers which clip conveniently onto a large central storage compartment allowing you to easily carry this anywhere. This is a great gift for any budding diyer!
• 52 Piece Socket Wrench Set - The Grafter 52 piece socket wrench set now that's what I call a manly product name! Look at the picture Ladies and Gentleman you can almost see the testosterone oozing out from under it's black one piece carry case. Now I'm not going to sit here and list out what all fifty two pieces are because frankly that would bore the life out of both of us (plus I don't actually know what they all do but don't tell anyone) so all I'm going to say is if you want a socket set that represents excellent value for money then this product is definitely for you!
• Chrome Juicer - You can't beat the taste of freshly squeezed juice which is why I think this is an excellent and elegant kitchen gadget for extracting juice from oranges grapefruit lemons and limes quickly and easily. Simply cut the fruit in half place over the strainer which will remove all the seeds and pulp leaving you with fresh naturally nutritious juice. In fact with looks this good you might want to leave it out on the work top anyway just to admire its sleek silver lines!
• Stainless Steel Salt-pepper Mill - Ahh yes the ultimate accessory for decadent dining. Why strain your wrists with a manual mill when you can have freshly ground salt or pepper only a button push away with this stylish stainless steel battery operated mill. Featuring a ceramic grinding mechanism and a built in light at the base of the unit so that you don't disturb the ambience of your carefully prepared candlelight dinner.
• Vanity Case - This durable yet light weight vanity case is the perfect gift for a frequent traveller as the case comes complete with a combination lock padded interior with side pocket and a swivel mirror. Measuring approximately 31cm width by 19cm in height the case is finished in hard wearing black abs plastic with red piping and a soft rubber carry handle.
• Folding Steel Framed Camp Bed - This folding camp is easily assembled strong and comfortable making it an excellent accessory ideal for camping and outdoor use. Comes complete with a hard wearing carry bag with strap for easy portability whilst the bed features a steel frame construction which allows it to have an impressive maximum loadability of eight five kilos.
• Blow Up Single Mattress - This inflatable guest mattress is ideal for camping or perfect for guests and sleepovers as the built in pump makes inflating the sturdy vinyl with flocked top single mattress a complete doddle whilst the quick free flow deflation valve means that it can be folded and stored away in minutes. Measures 183cm x 76cm x 12.7cm.
• Blow Up Double Mattress - This inflatable guest mattress is ideal for camping or perfect for guests and sleepovers as the built in pump makes inflating the sturdy vinyl with flocked top double mattress a complete doddle whilst the quick free flow deflation valve means that it can be folded and stored away in minutes. Measures 201cm x 140cm x 12.7cm.
• Camping Starter Pack - As a complete novice to the wonderful world of camping I'm glad to see that someone has finally come up with the definitive camping starter pack. This impressive pack comes complete with a two person extended dome tent which cleverly features a water resitant sealed seams outer cover and a breathable polyester inner cover with the shock corded fibre glass poles guy ropes pegs and carry case all included. Two mummy style hollow fibre polyester sleeping bags and two EVA camping mats complete this excellent pack suitable for weekends or short breaks in light spring/summer weather.
• Two Man Monodome Tent - This excellent monodome tent for 1-2 people is made from water resistant polyester with a PA coating and a ventilated ceiling making this suitable for weekends or short breaks in light spring/summer weather. Comes complete with a PE floor twin zip roll up door shock corded fibre glass poles and a handy case with strap. Measures 200cm depth by 145cm width by 100cm in height.